So it's been a while, and I should really be more on top of this blogging thing. I love it. I love writing, but work has gotten in the way. As soon as I'm home, I couldn't be bothered. It's not a good enough excuse, but I need to try to change that.
When I left you all last, it was all heartbreak. I had sat down and told myself I was going to stop looking and begin just worrying about myself. I was in a long relationship, and I didn't care about myself. Everything I did was for this person with only a little bit being about me. The scale was severely tipped. I did soooo much for him, and only ever got a little in return. I gained weight, and I completely lost myself, my pride, my dignity, and self respect. It's been only within the last year that I've begun to come back. So, I decided in September I couldn't be bothered at all with dating. I was going to focus on my work, my well being, and my health. This lasted till October 26th.
A handsome gentleman that I work with, was a good friend of mine. We would sit and chat for hours, and order lunch almost every day. We would talk about friends, family, and interests. The second I mentioned his name in September, my best friend, told me that it was only a matter of time before we began to date. I shut her down immediately. There was no way! We work together. Not happening. Boy, was I wrong.
The week of Halloween weekend, I was invited to a co-worker party, that this guy would be at. I had made plans with my best friend so I decided to just tell her to come to this party instead. The day of she happened to cancel on me, and I really didn't want to go anymore because I was so new, that I felt uncomfortable. My other best friend happened to have gotten into an accident, and I decided to bake her cupcakes and bring her margaritas. As I was sitting on her bed with her cat eating stew ( trying to paint my picture of a spinster ) I told her I no longer wanted to go to this party. She told me I needed to go, because what else was I going to do? Leave her house and go to bed? Yeah, that would have been absolutely it. Nothing more, and nothing less. I decided that I should just go and have a good time and make new friends. So, I changed and headed to the party.
When I arrived, he came outside to greet me, and at this point, it was purely platonic. We played beer pong, and pool, and flip cup, then before I knew it I was tipsy and he was decently drunk. I found myself sitting on his lap thinking, "oh god, this is bad, this is so bad". We work together! This was not in my plan. I decided it was time to go. Then, I found myself in the kitchen, with him in front of me. I knew something was going to happen. Then, he leaned in and kissed me. It was the most perfect, honest, real, and loving kiss I had ever gotten in my life. With that said I was terrified, and I ran out of there.
The next couple days, I just tried to down play what happened. I mean, we work together! It was beyond inappropriate. I just acted like nothing happened. Then, when he asked me out on a date, I just took a huge leap of faith, and went. It was awkward and it was new, so everything felt weird. I felt like a teenager. I hit the ground running. A month later he met my family. A month after that I met his. And every single day he confirms for me why I needed to be molded for him. I went through horrible times to be able to know how I deserve to be treated. I am treated like a queen. We're not perfect, but together we have it all. The way he treats me is the way every woman wants to be treated. Love, respect, kindness, consideration, and he is a total gentleman. I can thank his mother enough for raising such a wonderful person.
With that said, yes my relationship is finally in order. My student loans eat me alive every single month, and I need to lose a good 20 pounds. I'm working on all of it, and it takes time. It took me two years to find a good man. It'll take time to iron the rest out. That's what our 20's are for. I hope a year from now I will be 20 pounds lighter, and my finances won't be so tight, but only time can tell. I'm just glad my heart is finally in good hands.
- Julie Catherine
