Know When to Fold.

Yesterday, a dear friend of mine told me she used my love life as an example to a friend of hers that's in a bad relationship. While this is startling, let me explain..

I was in a relationship for five years that was unhealthy and toxic for both parties. He cheated on me, and made me feel worthless, but I enabled him. Every day I stayed, and every day I forgave him, I enabled him. It was a two way street, but all I ever wanted was for him to love me. Every day I did something that I was hoping would please him. I lost myself just worrying about someone else. I gained weight, let myself get so wrapped up that I lost a lot of friends. I mean, not only did these "friends" try to compete with me over wanting my boyfriends attention, but they talked so much crap about me behind my back. It was an all around bad situation. It completely enveloped my life, and it took five years for me to see all the damage this relationship had done to me.

Three years ago, he told me he wanted to go on a break. He had put us on breaks all through out our relationship. It was a way for him to stay in control, keep me around, but be able to do whatever he wanted. I had finally had enough, and I left. Since the wound was still really fresh, we went back and forth for about seven months. A month after him and I cut off contact, I met someone whom I thought was a great guy. We dated for about three months, and it just didn't pan out. I really liked him, but I really just was happy that someone was nicer to me than my ex. I pined after him for close to a year. I dated only one other person in this time span. Him and I had a great date, but he was really dropping red flags, and had a very bad past. I dropped that one like a hot potato. After this last guy, I gave up hope. I decided I was going to worry about myself. I need to learn to love myself again before asking someone else to love me.

I began a new job, and on my first day, this guy almost slammed a door right in my face. I mean nearly took my face off with a heavy metal door. Then, we went in for a morning meeting, and this guy was super tan because he had come back from vacation, and he sat in a corner, leaning back in his chair, arms folded, with a really pissed off look on his face. I wanted nothing to do with him. I thought he was rude. it took me a good month to month in a half before I actually spoke a word to him other than "HI".

This coworker and I had just become friends after it took me a month to talk to him. I enjoyed his company, and always found myself taking lunch with him. My best friend told me that I was going to date him, and my mother saw his picture and told me that he was special, and he would be the one. I told them to shut their pie holes. I worked with him, and I was not going to shit where I ate.

I found myself alone on a Saturday night. I was supposed to go out with my friend to hang with this coworker, and she canceled on it. I decided since she wasn't going to go, that I didn't want to go. Then my other friend told me to go, because I wasn't going to be doing anything that night anyway. It was the best decision I ever made.

We have been together ever since, and I can honestly say I found the man I am going to marry. I am so in love with him. Everything they tell you that will happen when you meet the right person does happen. It fits, it clicks, and it makes perfect sense. It's a feeling that comes over you, and you just know it when it happens.

So, stop trying to fix and change and the man who cheats, and lies, and makes you feel worthless because there is a man out there who will love you more than that. There is a man out there who respects you and values you. Stop wasting your youth and beauty on a man who is not deserving of such precious things. It's time to stop pitying yourself, and start caring for yourself, and taking pride in who you are. Your value is not determined by what some loser who can't keep his penis in his pants thinks. Know your worth, and don't let it be cheapened. Know that the right man will never make you feel cheap, and will always make you feel loved.

- Julie Catherine

Working for the (Wo)Man.

Many people will cringe when I say this, but I have put my two weeks in at work after working for my company for only nine months. I heard you gasp, and say I am crazy for not holding out for at least a year, but from the cards I was dealt here, I have every reason to want to go. Sometimes, a company fires an employee because they aren't working out. In this case I fired the company.

 

When I went on my final interview with the people who subsequently hired me, I had the wool pulled over my eyes. They gave me ideas of grandeur. I would be making all kinds of money, I would grow with the company, and I would have the freedom to create the position they put me in. It all sounds wonderful. I signed up right then and there.

I was fresh out of college by a few months, and had thought to myself how great this was that I got a salaried position with eight paid holidays and extensive vacation time. I was so wrong. At first, the employers made me think that they had all their ducks in a row, and they knew what they were doing, but when I got my first paycheck I saw a red flag. What they had quoted me was not what they gave me. I was initially really upset, but decided to give this place a shot because they said they were doing big things and growing rapidly.

After about three months, I began to develop the bad habit of coming into work 20 to 30 minutes late. My boss was barely ever at work, and when she did come in it wasn't until around 3. On occasion when she was in, and I could ask for her advice on how to deal with a customer or if I needed her authority on taking care of a customers bill, but all she would do is lead me in a circle back to where I started. Quickly, I began to realize that this woman has no idea what she's doing.

Eventually, I just to matters into my own hands, and gave people tons of discounts on things in order to work a deal with them to get them as my customer. Still, there were things I needed from her that she was not willing to give. She wouldn't come into work for weeks at a time, and at one point didn't come in to work for an entire month. She was never there to help me or guide me or give me permission on things I needed her blessing on. I went from working like a mad man, to eventually having nothing to do because everything needed her approval, it all wound up in limbo. It took me five months to just get business cards that took someone else maybe five minutes to do. It began to take it's toll on me.

I like working, and I like feeling valued. I was barely working because nothing would get approved, and I absolutely was not valued. I got our customer base up by at least 65% since the year before, and I was told I would receive commission, I never saw a dime. Instead she brought me flowers. Flowers don't pay my student loans. Then, little by little, others came through the woodwork and said to me that they agree with everything I think. I think my boss is incompetent, unintelligent, and totally incapable of fulfilling her duties. To top it all off, she went ahead and stole five pieces of work I did, and claimed them as her own. Never once mentioned my name in having anything to do with it.

 

Now, I know you're saying, "Well, at least it's a job and you're getting paid." That's true! I have a job and I was getting paid. I also knew that I was worth more professionally and financially. I began looking for jobs. My mother told me to stick with where I was because I didn't give it enough of a chance. Unfortunately, when people who have been with the company for years tell you to get out while you can because it's a unhealthy culture and environment, and you feel that way as well, it's time to go.

It didn't take long before I went on interviews and was offered a position with a new place. I made sure that this time around I interviewed the company as well, and got an offer letter with everything we discussed in place. They asked me if my boss would counter offer, I said no, and what I didn't tell them is that it would be a no because she wouldn't know how.

The day came for me to put my two weeks in, and sure enough I wasn't counter offered, and they said they were sad I was leaving, but clearly they never appreciated me. Now that I have made my move, and I have made the best decision for myself, and the most healthy decision, I couldn't be happier. This place was more of a job, not a career.

 

If you find yourself in the same shoes I was in, you feel your work environment and culture isn't a healthy one, and does not grow you professionally, financially or personally, it's not you it's them. It is perfectly fine if you go somewhere and it just doesn't work out. Obviously, don't make a habit of leaving jobs because things don't go well after a few months, but really pay attention and assess your situation. Pay attention to what people who have been there for years have to say about the management you are working for. Whether they work for them directly or work in the same company. It is perfectly fine to leave when there is no benefit for you in any professional, financial, or personal way. If it is okay for a company to let a person go because they don't benefit the company, it is perfectly fine for you to leave a company because they do not benefit you.


 - Julie Catherine.

Love Lost & Love Found.

So it's been a while, and I should really be more on top of this blogging thing. I love it. I love writing, but work has gotten in the way. As soon as I'm home, I couldn't be bothered. It's not a good enough excuse, but I need to try to change that.

When I left you all last, it was all heartbreak. I had sat down and told myself I was going to stop looking and begin just worrying about myself. I was in a long relationship, and I didn't care about myself. Everything I did was for this person with only a little bit being about me. The scale was severely tipped. I did soooo much for him, and only ever got a little in return. I gained weight, and I completely lost myself, my pride, my dignity, and self respect. It's been only within the last year that I've begun to come back. So, I decided in September I couldn't be bothered at all with dating. I was going to focus on my work, my well being, and my health. This lasted till October 26th.

A handsome gentleman that I work with, was a good friend of mine. We would sit and chat for hours, and order lunch almost every day. We would talk about friends, family, and interests. The second I mentioned his name in September, my best friend, told me that it was only a matter of time before we began to date. I shut her down immediately. There was no way! We work together. Not happening. Boy, was I wrong.

The week of Halloween weekend, I was invited to a co-worker party, that this guy would be at. I had made plans with my best friend so I decided to just tell her to come to this party instead. The day of she happened to cancel on me, and I really didn't want to go anymore because I was so new, that I felt uncomfortable. My other best friend happened to have gotten into an accident, and I decided to bake her cupcakes and bring her margaritas. As I was sitting on her bed with her cat eating stew ( trying to paint my picture of a spinster ) I told her I no longer wanted to go to this party. She told me I needed to go, because what else was I going to do? Leave her house and go to bed? Yeah, that would have been absolutely it. Nothing more, and nothing less. I decided that I should just go and have a good time and make new friends. So, I changed and headed to the party.

When I arrived, he came outside to greet me, and at this point, it was purely platonic. We played beer pong, and pool, and flip cup, then before I knew it I was tipsy and he was decently drunk. I found myself sitting on his lap thinking, "oh god, this is bad, this is so bad". We work together! This was not in my plan. I decided it was time to go. Then, I found myself in the kitchen, with him in front of me. I knew something was going to happen. Then, he leaned in and kissed me. It was the most perfect, honest, real, and loving kiss I had ever gotten in my life. With that said I was terrified, and I ran out of there.

The next couple days, I just tried to down play what happened. I mean, we work together! It was beyond inappropriate. I just acted like nothing happened. Then, when he asked me out on a date, I just took a huge leap of faith, and went. It was awkward and it was new, so everything felt weird. I felt like a teenager. I hit the ground running. A month later he met my family. A month after that I met his. And every single day he confirms for me why I needed to be molded for him. I went through horrible times to be able to know how I deserve to be treated. I am treated like a queen. We're not perfect, but together we have it all. The way he treats me is the way every woman wants to be treated. Love, respect, kindness, consideration, and he is a total gentleman. I can thank his mother enough for raising such a wonderful person.

With that said, yes my relationship is finally in order. My student loans eat me alive every single month, and I need to lose a good 20 pounds. I'm working on all of it, and it takes time. It took me two years to find a good man. It'll take time to iron the rest out. That's what our 20's are for. I hope a year from now I will be 20 pounds lighter, and my finances won't be so tight, but only time can tell. I'm just glad my heart is finally in good hands.

- Julie Catherine

Lean, Mean, Protein Lovin'

I always seem to stumble on fancy gadgets that make simple tasks easier. Recently, I came across the EGDPro. It's a protein dispenser, and it is amazing. It makes carrying and storing my protein powder around so much easier. I spend most of my time at work, and the EGDPro simplifies my struggling with making a protein shake.

EGDPro

The way it works is really simple, it holds six servings of protein powder, and all you need to do is fill it with the powder of your choice, I like coffee flavored, fill the top part with the powder, flip and turn the nob on the side to dispense into your water, and poof, you have your protein shake.

The bottle is super durable, and really holds up well. It can take a beating from being carried around anywhere you go. I love this, and I would recommend anyone who likes to drink their protein shakes to purchase this.

http://easygodispenser.com/pro.html


- Julie Catherine

Cheater Cheater, Pumpkin Eater.

After an extremely enlightening conversation with a male friend of mine, I was completely dumbfounded by his ignorance of life. He told me that 98% of men cheat, which I know to be bullshit. On top of that he claimed how all of his friends cheat as well, and that he won't cheat once he's married, but he will feel some kind of temptation. He says he's going to get it all out of his system before he marries his girlfriend, but in the mean time he cheats on her. Any one else think, "what a douche bag"? I sure as hell feel that way.

Let me not totally throw this person under the bus. He is a nice guy, funny, and when he wants to be he can be very intelligent. Unfortunately, like every man who cheats, he harbors the same qualities all men who cheat have. They lack integrity, self-esteem, and humbleness. They all think they're hot pieces of shit, and that every woman that looks at them wants them. Men who cheat are insecure and need gratification from other women to ensure that they are attractive. They have NO confidence in themselves, so they need to be reassured by others that they are valued. They'll claim that it's because they want to get laid, but yet they have a girlfriend.

Men who cheat surround themselves with other men who lack integrity and self-esteem. People who are alike will follow others who are just like them. It makes it easier for them to justify that what they're doing is correct, even though it shows that they aren't man enough to be with one person. The same goes for women. Don't get me wrong, I don't want to man bash, because I know many men who do not cheat because they are confident enough in themselves not to. Women who cheat lack the same qualities as well, they just need to feel that they are attractive and have someone verify that for them.

Men and women who cheat will constantly say things like this, and these are your red flags, "I'm so fat.", "I used to have bigger muscles", "I need a boob job.", "I need to hit the gym more.". They will constantly complain about things they don't like about themselves. They are looking for you to tell they that they're not fat, and that they are buff, and that their boobs are great. They need you to reaffirm to them that they are in fact attractive. What you will notice about these people is that they are thin, they are muscular, and they have a great figure, but they don't think that. It's not your job to fix these people. I have dated my fair share of cheaters, and non-cheaters, and believe me I can tell who is who from the beginning.

Two of the cheaters I dated, both had the same issues, they thought they lacked some attractive physical quality, and they went on and on about it. They both also cheated on me, but it was because they lacked integrity, and they lacked self-esteem. They needed someone else, besides me, who could tell them they were attractive. It's like the more people that tell them they are attractive, that means they must be. The five men I dated that did not cheat, all displayed confidence in themselves. They never complained about what they had or didn't have, they were all honest, stand up men. The man I am dating now, I know would never cheat. He doesn't lack self-esteem, and he is a genuine person. He knows his value, and he never whines and complains about his looks. He is a handsome man with a great heart. He is the kind of man women marry, not like the cheaters who we date for a short period of time.

When I was being cheated on, I always knew. I always had a gut feeling, and I could always tell when I was being lied to. My male friend, who I mentioned earlier, has a girlfriend. He spends only the weekends, and sometimes not the whole weekend, with his girlfriend. They have been together for years, and my theories on her is that either she is A) stupid and doesn't know he's cheating, B) knows he's cheating and won't say anything, or C) she's cheating on him herself and doesn't care what he does. They are barely ever around each other, and if he has time to cheat on her, she has time to cheat on him. I told him before that the only reason he stays with her is because he is comfortable. He knows that she is so beat over him, she will stay. It's just a cycle they have gotten into, and I don't think he will stop cheating.

Cheating on someone is a character flaw, it doesn't make you cool, or hot, or sexy, it makes you pathetic and weak. If you would be angry and leave the person you're with if they cheated on you, you should not do that to them either. Cheating shows a lack of self control, integrity, honesty, trustworthiness, and self-esteem. It really just states to the world that you cannot be trusted or respected. The cheater is always to blame for the cheating, never the person being cheated on or with. Everyone gets angry with the person who helped the cheater cheat, but that person doesn't owe anyone anything if they aren't in the relationship. Being in a relationship means you will be with only that person, not that person and everyone else who you think is looking at you as you walk across the street. It's time to either put up or shut up. Be in a relationship with one person, or be single.

Most people don't cheat, most people don't lack integrity, or respect, or self-esteem. Most people get into relationships because they want to be with one person only. So anyone who tells you everyone cheats is just saying that to confirm to themselves that what they're doing is right and acceptable. They need to say that not to tell you, but to tell themselves. It's a way for them to feel better about what they're doing, even though they know it's wrong. Cheaters never win. They end up in loveless marriages and relationships because while they were chasing tail, they missed out on finding a valuable relationship.

You're a Mean Girl!

Ever since teen suicides have been making the papers because a teen has decided it wasn't worth it to live if they were being bullied, I have been getting more and more outraged. More mediums have come to fruition over the years for teens to be bullied. Facebook, twitter, and text messaging seem to be teens top choices for harassing other teens. What angers me is this was going on way before Facebook existed for high school students. When I was in school it was prank phone calls, fake instant messenger screen names, fake MySpace accounts, and fake Xanga accounts. This is nothing new, and the fact that parents seem to not know what their children are doing blows my mind.

Mean Girls

When I was around thirteen or fourteen years old, girls would harass me on Xanga, and AOL Instant Messenger. They were so jealous and evil, they would claim I was talking shit about them, when I had never said a word. I was also friends with a girl who would add fuel to their fire by telling them I said and did things I hadn't done. I was given countless prank calls, and people would make up fake Xanga names and comment on my Xanga telling me how I was a whore, mind you I hadn't even kissed a boy yet. I wouldn't keep this inside, I always told my mother, and she used to be my biggest rock. She made sure I knew this wouldn't last and that these girls were just jealous of me.

Right at the beginning of my sophomore year of High School, I had gotten a phone call from a girl whom I was always frenemies with. Her boyfriend was on the bowling team with me, and she told me that I should stay away from him because she knows I showed him my underwear the year before. This was news to me! I had never ever once shown this person anything ever. She threatened to make my life hell if I even spoke to him. I told my mother about it, and how I was so upset, and she reminded me that if the girl did not think I was a threat to her she would have never called me to tell me such a thing. Every single day I had to pass this girl in the halls, and she would make comments, but I ignored her, and eventually she stopped.

 

For at least the first two years of my high school career, girls were so evil and nasty to me. I would cry my eyes out, and now those girls want to be my friend, and I don't hold against them the things they did to me when they were children, especially because I think they were just misguided. My mother trained me to have thick skin. Yes, words hurt tremendously, but they hold no merit. I knew I wasn't a whore or a slut or ugly or talking shit. I was fortunate to have a mother who made sure that as much as these girls beat me down, she would remind me that it wouldn't last because she had been there before herself.

When my mom was in middle school a girl, who used to be her friend, began harassing her. It increased every single day, and my mother would go home and cry to my nana. Eventually, my mother had enough of this girl, and went up to her one day while she was at her locker and beat the living crap out of the girl. My mother and the girl got suspended, and this girl never once spoke about my mother ever again. The girls mother, who I commend for this, told her daughter to knock off the shit and stop talking about my mother. Good parenting rule number one, your child should be held accountable for their actions. While I don't think violence is the answer, the point here was that this bullying thing is not new. Not only is it not new, but when it came down to it both my grandmother and this other mother understood their daughters were wrong and forced them to take responsibility for their mistakes.

I read about one girl who recently decided to end her life, and when the girls accused of bullying were arrested, the parents swore up and down their child was a good kid. That right there tells me the parents are neglectful and don't pay attention to what it is their child is doing. My mother always told me if she thought I was wrong she would hold me responsible. She never swept my behavior under the rug. When I was in first grade, these two girls were so nasty to me, and the one day my mother caught me sticking my tongue out and the girls, and my mother gave me what for. I knew this woman meant business. She made me apologize to the girls, and they wound up apologizing to me for being mean.

It happens to everyone.

Parents are so oblivious to what their children do. It is unfortunate that the bullying issue has new mediums, but it comes down to the parents. A girl who got arrested recently for bullying was found to have a violent stepmother who was caught on tape punching nine and fourteen year old children. It starts at the base, and that's the parental support. What scares me too is the children who are being bullied not sharing it with their parents. My mother knew, because she was there to protect me. A parent is supposed to be someone you can go to and confide in, not hide from. Not everyone has that luxury, but I know more often than not parents want their children to confide in them, and they just don't.

What will stop this suicide craze is parents opening up to their children to have that line of communication open. I still confide in my mother, and I had one friend tell me how it was weird that I tell my mom 90% of what goes on in my life, but that's because my mother does not judge me, she supports me and when she thinks I am wrong, she will tell me whether I like it or not. I am eternally grateful for having a mother as wonderful as mine. I used to have friends come over my house and confide in my mother and seek her advice because they couldn't talk to their moms. She's good like that. The woman drives me absolutely insane, and when I was younger, she was crazy strict, but I'm not in rehab, I don't abuse drugs, I haven't been arrested, I have a college degree, a full time job, and I surround myself with happy well adjusted people. No parent is perfect, and they make mistakes, but their children should be able to tell them when they are being bullied, and be able to lift them out of that dark place, because trust me it never ever lasts, and I am proof of that. Countless girls were nasty and mean to me, and look now, they are a non factor in my life. They had no merit then, and they sure as hell do not have it now.

Bullying does not last, and if it is spiraling out of control, it is okay to remove your child from that school. This one girl was bullied by about 15 girls. That number is a lot to handle, and if I were a parent I would have removed my child from that school. I knew a girl who's mother took her out of school for a year because of bullying. In order to protect your child, you have to do what's necessary. I never had that many people bully me at once, but you better believe if I did my mother would have removed me from the situation. Suicide is a permanent end to a temporary problem. It solves nothing, but it hurts the ones that love you the most. How much more awareness do we need before this finally stops?

- Julie Catherine

Age Ain't Nothin' but a Number.

For years, I thought my life would be just like my mothers, and that I would be married at 23. I am now 24, and I don't have a boyfriend, or any prospects for that matter. I always thought that would bother me, but I still feel so young, and that I have so much more to accomplish before that happens. A few girls I know are already married, and have been married since 22 or 23 years old. I personally think they settled for this life. They still live in my town, in their crappy homes, with their dinky wedding rings. I feel like I can't settle for that same life style.

One thing my mother always told me was that if a man cannot afford to by you a nice ring of at least three carats, you're not ready to be married. You can't afford a wedding, or a house, or babies. My parents impress upon me the importance of building my life, building my brand, so that when I do get married I can pay for my wedding, and I can have my honeymoon, and I can have my house, and I can start my family. So many people just rush into it, and that's just not my goal. I want to establish myself first before I begin to worry about being with someone else.

It hurt me for a while that everyone around me was getting married, and having babies, and now I realize that I cannot compare their lives to my own. We are on two different paths, were not in the same bracket at all. The reason I chose not to become a teacher, after completing everything I was supposed to, was because something told me I could do more. There was something else out there. I feel that about every aspect of my life. Something bigger is waiting for me. Things I cannot even imagine are just waiting for me to find them.

Don't get me wrong, I want to be married, and have babies, and grow my family, but that will all happen on it's own. My mother told me that when the time is right, the right man will present himself to me. It's not something I think anyone should be rushing. I know a lot of girls who just run into marriage, and I hear that they have gotten divorced after just a few years. I think so many people fear being lonely, that they will marry someone, or have a baby with someone, who is totally wrong. No one is ever alone. You are surrounded by people who love you, and by claiming you're lonely is a slap in all those peoples faces. You are devaluing their presence in your life. Count your blessings.

Everyone's life takes it's own course, but there's nothing wrong with just worrying about yourself. I knew a girl who ended a relationship, and I told her to be selfish for a while and worry about herself, and she told me she's not a selfish person. I wanted to slap her. It's not about being selfish selfish, its about putting yourself first, and not acting so incredibly desperate that you just jump from relationship to relationship. People can smell the desperation on a person, and when you present that desperation, they take advantage of you, and you don't find the right person, you find the scumbags. Desperation sends off a terrible vibe, and no one likes to be around someone who is desperate.

At 24, I am not married, engaged, or in a relationship, and that is PERFECTLY OK. I know that everything happens and unfolds in its own time. Things happen the way they are meant to. Age is nothing but a number. Some people don't get married till they're thirty, I hope that isn't the case for me personally, but it happens. Thirty is the new twenty in my eyes. So just enjoy your time worrying about yourself. Do what you need to do to take care of yourself before you worry about anyone else!

- Julie Catherine.

As Long As You Love Me?

So far, I have written a lot about my ex, and my dating fiascoes, but I decided to tell you about a man I'd like to call Derrick. Two weeks before Valentine's day, back in 2011, my ex just up and decided he didn't want to be with me anymore. We had gone through this cycle constantly. Up and down and all around. He would come and go in the relationship as he pleased. Every time he left, it meant he was going to be with another girl. Finally, I decided that if he was going to leave me to be with someone else, I should explore my options. That's where Derrick came in.

One night, I was out with a good friend of mine, and we went to her co-workers house. He shared a house with a few other guys. We were going to pregame there, then hit the bars. Derrick walked in to the room, and immediately I was taken. He was an all American guy, so handsome, and I knew I needed to talk to him. I kept my distance at first because I was still dating my ex. Then, the day after my ex dumped me to be with some tramp, I went out to the bars with one of my good girlfriends. In a drunken stupor, I told her to call Derrick. When she called him he was just at the library, and he was going to head his way over. When he got there, I was an emotional mess over my ex. I was so heartbroken, and I was ready to meet someone who would not do that to me. There was Derrick.

Derrick and I began with library dates and dinner dates. We would go and study, and then after go get a beer or a bite to eat. We were always together, and even after my ex and I began talking again, I kept Derrick around. My ex was all over the place. I could not deal with the insecurity that relationship provided, and I was no longer his girlfriend, so I wasn't doing anything I shouldn't have been. He was doing his own thing, and so was I.

Derrick and I were practically boyfriend and girlfriend, but not really. Derrick was funny, considerate, respectful, thoughtful, and an all around great guy. He did have his flaws though. I knew Derrick would never cheat on me or lie to me. I knew he cared about me enough to take care of my heart and my well being, which my ex did not. He was all the good qualities I wish my ex had, and I would have continued to date him, except one small issue.

Derrick was 22 years old, and he just started college again, taking only ONE internet course, because he didn't want to overwhelm himself. I was a full time student working 60 hours a week at a restaurant. I was on the deans list, and I worked my ass off to get there. This man wanted one course so he didn't overwhelm himself. I was appalled. He had no ambition or drive. None at all. It was really depressing to be around. He would tell me money isn't everything, and he is right, but as 50 Cent once told me, "Find out when you fuckin' broke, love won't get you on the bus." It's true! I aim for success and a comfortable life, and he was flying by the seat of his pants. His laziness drove me insane.

Only way to achieve this is hard work.

This man had all the qualities I was looking for in a man. Athletic, funny, caring, loving, considerate, handsome, thoughtful, respectful, from a good home, but he had NO DRIVE AT ALL. I find men who work hard, and support their family to be honorable men. My father was that man. He worked his ass off so that his children and his wife could have everything they wanted and more. I get my work ethic from him. We are not lazy people, and even on our days off we are up at seven in the morning ready to go. I cannot be with someone who does not have ambition and drive for a better life.

Derrick was a wonderful man, but I could not get past the fact that he was up at one or two in the afternoon because he didn't get home till four in the morning because he was out drinking with his buddies. It was a life I could not see myself getting involved in at all. I work too hard to have a boyfriend, or a fiancé, or husband who does not believe in the value of hard work. To this day, Derrick still contacts me, but I don't entertain it for fear of instilling hope that there will be something between us. I value a man with a college degree. I think it shows that you had the chops to stick it out, no matter how long it took, and you worked hard for a better future.

When I was younger, the Backstreet Boys had a song out called As Long As You Love Me, and it said, "I don't care who you are, where you're from, what you did, as long as you love me". As a little girl I was all for it. I was also madly in love with Nick Carter, but it came down to an idealistic world where as long as you love me, we will be fine. That was a load of bull. You should be loved unconditionally and love unconditionally in return, but the person should match your ideals, goals, and dreams. They won't always line up perfectly, but why be with someone who can't fully see or understand your direction and goals in life? As I got older, I still love the song very much, but I know now that it does matter who you are, where you're from, and what you did, and you better love me.

- Julie Catherine

Facing the Music...

Two of my favorite things are Nick Carter, and reading. So, when he came out with a book, Facing the Music & Living to Talk About it, guess who bought it? This girl right here. I was told it was an autobiography, and I couldn't wait to see what he had to say about things like dating Paris Hilton, his drug use, and his multiple arrests. I have loved this man since I was about seven years old. The only time I lost respect for him was when he dated Paris, because she is just a joke. I knew he had gone down the rabbit hole once he was with her. Regardless, I knew this was going to be good, but what I got out of it was more than I expected.

Grab a copy, it could help you too.

This book was part autobiography tied in with self-help. The only self-help book I have read is The Secret, and with only a little bit of actual self-help, its just a crock of shit. The whole book is just a joke. It gives good advice such as being positive, and making goals, but it leads people to believe that if they think about something hard enough they will transmit a frequency and magically the universe moves people and events to get to them. Science proves that wrong, there's a frequency we transmit, but it's not strong enough to actually do what the book claims, and the author makes random claims of other famous people who knew the secret, its a crock of shit. Don't waste your time, and if you believe in The Secret, well, good for you.

The Secret..

Anyway, back to my story. Reading Nicks book, he began to talk about relationships. His binge drinking stories, and crazy drug use I can't relate to because I haven't ever been that way, except when he began talking about relationships, he got my attention. He talked about his relationships, and how one made him physically ill because it was so bad for him. Nicks words popped off the page when I read, "Sometimes you might be in an unhealthy relationship or you might be in an environment that is not good for you and you'll not only have to recognize the situation for what it is, but you'll have to change things about those relationships." For the first time in over a year, he forced me to look back at my relationship, and see it for what it was. It was incredibly unhealthy.

A year and a half ago I got out of a seriously bad relationship. I was up and down and all over the place. I was always super healthy and active, and then when things got bad, I got lazy and fat. I was so unhappy and miserable that I was lucky if I could get out of bed. I said I don't identify with Nicks binge drinking, but I definitely drank a lot. I would go out at 8 PM with friends, and not get back home till 4 AM. The only reason I drank so much was because I couldn't face the pain that was being inflicted on me. The alcohol, the shitty food, and the lack of exercise due to being miserable were all showing. It was evident to everyone something was not right with me. My mother tried to get me to talk, but I pushed her away. I was so far down the hole that I couldn't see anyone or anything else. My life revolved around making this person happy, so much so that I was no longer happy.

Now, you are wondering why I would stay so long if this was the case. Another thing Nick said in his book is that he did not feel that he was worthy of love, and that he felt that this was it for him. This was all he was good enough for. That's exactly how I felt, and that's why I went back to this person twice after I initially left. I felt that this was it for me, that this was all I deserved, I was dead wrong. No one deserves to feel so low that they cannot get out of bed or go for a run. My life was falling a part all around me. I was not this person, so how did I let this happen? It's so much easier as an outsider to judge and say, " Well, you could have left at any time!" not true. I was so blind to my own value and worth that I would rather stay miserable because I felt this was what I deserved, and this was all that was out there for me. It was not true at all, but it's all I knew.

I didn't realize my worth until I met someone else. He wound up being a total dud, but when he was good, he brought me back to life, and I am so grateful to him for that. I was so lost, and so confused, but he showed me, for how brief it was, that I was worth something, and I deserved so much more. I did go back to my ex one more time, but it was very short lived because I was able to see the red flags, and when he said he did not want to talk to me anymore, I made the choice to cut him out. I realized that I was worth more than this, that this was not all that there was out there.

I always felt that the things that happened to me weren't that bad, and that they happen to other people not me. I was wrong, they were horrible, and they should have never happened, and I should have never accepted it. I was in a bad cycle, and finally a year and a half later I was able to break the cycle for good. I have completely turned my life around, and I have met other men who show me that there's more out there for me, whether or not they last, they are still a step in the right direction. I learned that I deserve to be loved and treated with kindness and respect and loyalty. I deserve a happy, healthy, stable, and loving relationship. It took me Nick Carter's book to reflect on that.

Reflecting on the past can hurt deep, but it can heal as well. I healed by forcing myself to recognize my mistakes, and my ex's mistakes. I realize that it was also my fault for enabling him. I was a part of the problem, I am not innocent in this. I enabled the behavior that was given to me. I let it be allowed as though it was normal. I think because I have such a fantastic support system, and I have people who really love me and want to see me succeed in every aspect of my life, I have come out of it stronger than ever. I learned from the past, and I won't forget it because I won't be doomed to repeat it. I know my worth and I will never let someone cheapen me ever again.

Nick Carter has been the one man who has never broken my heart, and his book came into my life for a reason. I truly believe that I needed to read it in order to finally end that chapter in my life. He woke me up, and I wish I could thank him for doing that for me. Judge me all you want, and criticize me, but I know that everything happens for a reason, we just may not know what that reason is at the time. I made mistakes in my past, but I will not let my mistakes define me. I am just Julie, and I will not feel punished for my mistakes anymore.

- Julie Catherine.

When You Say Best Friends Means Friends Forever.

About three years ago, I became good friends with a girl I worked with. She was really pretty, her body was sick, her hair was always so pretty, and her make-up was flawless. Her and I bonded over our boyfriends. Hers lived in another country, and mine was just a mess. So, her and I would vent our frustrations to each other.

Around Christmas time, her and I did a lot of shopping together. We were always together, and she had quickly become a very good friend of mine. As time went on, we just kept getting closer. She would take me with her to beauty supply stores, she had her cosmetology license, and we would always go to dinner and grab drinks. Around Valentines day, since her boyfriend was in another country, and mine had broken up with me for the millionth time, she asked me to be her valentine, and I accepted. We got each other silly gifts, and went to dinner like the lonely biddies we were.

Our friendship continued, and then I left my job, and that's when things started to get weird. Her and I remained friends, and she would constantly ask me to visit her at work and bring her Friendly's, and I didn't mind because we were friends, right? When I would show up at her job, the girls who once were my best friends, were so cold and unfriendly toward me, and I had NO idea why. I just figured we were drifting a part because I no longer worked there.

When it got warmer out, she would invite me to her family's beach house, and we would still chat all the time. I noticed all the girls I once hung out with were all going out together, and I wasn't included. I had no idea why. These girls used to always invite me out, and now they hadn't asked me anywhere. So, me being a brat, I posted on Facebook, when I had one, that I thought it was messed up what they were doing, never directly calling anyone out. I then got a nasty Facebook message from a girl I had worked with asking if I was talking about the group of girls, and I lied and said no, because she had confirmed for me that I had absolutely been kicked out of the group, and I had no idea why. Then, shortly after the Facebook message, one of my more loyal friends messaged me, and asked if the status I had made on Facebook was about the girl whom I had been friends with, and that's when the can of worms opened. I had found out that this girl, whom I thought this entire time was my friend, had been talking so much crap about me behind my back. She was telling these girls that I would just randomly visit her at work, which was NOT true, she would ask me to come because she was bored. She would tell them that she didn't even want to be my friend, and that we never hung out, which was another lie. She constantly had asked me to hang out, and I was always the one who was busy and couldn't.

Now, I'm wondering to myself why this person would just be so horrible to me. I had never been anything, but a good friend to her. I decided to text her, and I told her that I knew everything and I never wanted to speak to her again, and she didn't deny what she said, and she never apologized, and I ended the friendship right then and there. Unfortunately, I thought she deserved a taste of her own medicine, she was so good and talking behind my back, but couldn't say anything to my face, so I took to Facebook to teach her a lesson. I began calling her out on her lies, and made comments about how she wore pounds of make-up, and how all her hair is fake. She wore a ridiculous amount of extensions.

It took maybe a day or two, and she gave me what I wanted. Let me state, this girl did not have a Facebook, so that meant that someone was relaying the message, and let me tell you, that little snake got deleted and blocked from everything so fast. Anyway, she messaged me saying how she was so happy our friendship was over, bla bla bla, as though I was forcing her to be my friend or something. Sicko. What I should have spotted from the beginning is how she would constantly talk crap about all of the girls we worked with, but would smile in their faces. One girl was telling her personal business to this girl, and she immediately ran and told me, and other girls came to me telling me they had heard the news from her as well. She was so fake, and the snake I mentioned, well she used to call her an ugly slut allllllll the time, and then smile in her face, and to this day they are still friends!

Why she did this to me, I didn't understand, and then I realized, she was jealous of me. I had way more going for me than she ever did. My boyfriend lived in this country, and I was getting a college degree, and had way more opportunities available for me than she did. She may be successful now, and I wouldn't know, but I know she will only get so far in life because she will be asked to pay for the evil she has done to people, because I know I wasn't the only one. I just happen to be the one who found out about what she did. Since then I have forgiven her, because she is just really misguided. Do unto others as you would have them do to you. I was wrong for being immature and taking to Facebook, but I felt she needed to feel it on her end, and I won't take that back.

The lesson to take from this, and what I learned, is that if a person talks crap about EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEIR "BEST FRIENDS" they are absolutely talking about you too. It does not matter how close you are, or how often you hang out, or how often you talk, they are bashing you. Jealousy is a terrible disease, and unfortunately the ones closest to you may be the ones most jealous of you. Keep your eyes open, and if you feel something isn't adding up, maybe it's time to slowly distance yourself. Toxic people are all around, and you just have to be aware of who is real and who is fake. I know we all get annoyed with our friends, and we may walk away from them thinking to ourselves, "My goodness, you are just annoying me right now!", but that's totally natural. It's when you are hanging out with someone, hanging out with their family, and talking to them everyday, while you have no idea they are telling people your personal business and lying about you. It's unfortunate, but a lesson we all must go through in life, in some way or another. Learn who is true to you, and value their friendship they way you would want them to value yours.

Ask, Believe, Receive,
Julie Catherine

The Fabulous Life of Hermes.

Religiously, I watch Housewives, and The Real Housewives of Miami happened to be the one I watched the other day. Lea Black and Lisa Hochstein, who happens to be my favorite in this franchise, were talking about Hermes Birkin bags. I know that they cost thousands upon thousands of dollars, and are the absolute most coveted bag ever. It's never a bag, its a Birkin. It's just that much better than any bag you have ever owned or laid your eyes on.

Lea Black and Lisa Hochstein

Most people would say, "Why would someone spend $10k-100k on a purse?", but those people don't understand that, and what I found out from Real Housewives of Miami, is that these bags aren't on a regular shelf in the store. Lisa owns a few Birkins, but they aren't anything compared to Lea's collection, so Lisa enlists Lea to help her get more. Now, I just thought that if you had they money, you could buy it, but I was so wrong. You have to build a reputation with the Hermes store/franchise. When you have done enough spending, you then earn the right. This right is not granted to everyone. Lisa has a few Birkins, but they were tracked down by people who work night and day to get these bags. You have to know someone, who knows someone, who knows someone.

So, Lisa finds Lea willing to help her get more. She has an insane relationship with the Hermes franchise across the world. What about the rest of us? Well, we don't have a fairy godmother like Lea Black to magically pull Birkins out of thin air, the rest of us are left to eBay, and portero.com. Portero is a luxury consignment shop online that sells from Chanel, to Gucci, to the fabulous Hermes Birkin. Even at pre-owed status, the Birkin will still run from five to six figures. If you see a Birkin for any less than that, be cautious, it's a scam.

The other day, I was on eBay looking at Birkins, when I noticed one that had a bid starting at 0.99. Not a single other Birkin started at that price, so immediately I was suspicious, and I put it on my watch list. The bag had only increased to $1200. That's right, not even five figures. The next day, I went to view it again, only to find out that the bag was actually taken off of eBay. The only reason I could think was that the bag was a total fraud, either stolen or fake. No one who bought a Birkin themselves would ever sell it for such an insulting price. I believe in eBay, and I'm sure that's why the bag was taken down. There's too many resources out there on how to be a smart shopper, and how to spot a fake. If you get taken for a fool, that was your own fault before doing research. ALWAYS DO YOUR RESEARCH!

Birkins are so exclusive, that even if you're a billionaire, it does not mean you can just walk into a store and buy it. According to Hermes, you have to EARN it, and build a reputation with them. You need to be somebody in the Hermes world to achieve that bag. Which makes it just that much more special when you get it, because not everyone gets to have it. I want one, and maybe one day I will have the privilege, but until then I will fanaticize about owning my very own Birkin!


Ask, Believe, Receive,
Julie Catherine

They Say It's Your Birthday...

Happy Birthday to Me! September 21st marks the beginning of my twenty-fourth year! I looked back at a year ago, to now, and I have changed significantly. The person who was here a year ago, is no longer here. It's amazing how we grow and change, but I feel like I'm moving in a better direction. I have finally started my career, and I have closed the door on a lot of things that I was hung up on. I woke up feeling like this is a fresh start. I didn't bring any baggage into this new year of my life, but I did bring in a fresh pair of Louboutins!

The Louboutins I bought. I took no pictures, so this is what you'll get. You have the idea.

Looking back at this past year, I think It was such a huge transitioning period for me. I have done a 180 from where I was before. This time a year ago, I had lost my uncle in unfortunate circumstances, I was still in college part-time, and I was in a relationship that was going down hill fast. I ended that relationship, and began dating someone new shortly after. It was good for me to get out of the bad one, and move to the better one, but he turned out to not be that wonderful either. I will say this though, I learned a lot about what I want out of a relationship, and what I deserve. He was a great guy in the beginning, and I realize I deserve that, just not the hidden baggage he had. I learned a lot about what I want, and what I don't want. My standards and convictions have been made clear, no more blurred lines.

Me, The day before my birthday. Last day as 23!

Graduating college was my next huge accomplishment this past year. I can't lie, I thought I was never going to make it out. I was on five and a half years, and I didn't see an end. That's what happens when you transfer schools in the state of New Jersey, you get screwed with your credits. I finally finished, and when I did I was sad it was actually over. I had met so many fantastic people, and had the time of my life. It had to end, and I had to move forward with my life. After college, I struggled with finding a job. I thought it would be easier having a degree, it's not at all. I was just one of many who graduated, and I needed to find my place. I finally found in eight months after graduating, but that's better than most can say.

Day of my graduation from Rutgers!

This year, I have also made long lasting friendships with plenty of people. I was always told, when you graduate college, and begin your life, you begin to see who will be your forever friends. I do not have friends. I have family. My friends become my family, and that's why my circle is so small. I wouldn't have it any other way. I love the people in my life right now, and if we drift apart, or if we remain together forever, they will always be the ones who taught me the most about life and myself.

Shit happens in life we have no control over, and a few things happened to me this year that were terrifying, and really helped me appreciate that growing old is a luxury most cannot afford. I am grateful every single day I wake up, and get to see my wonderful family, and my wonderful friends. In this moment, I am happy, and my goal is to remain that way no matter what life decides to throw at me. When you make plans, God laughs, but he laughs because he has better ideas for you than you do. I plan on making this year a fantastic year, and I just plan on going up and up from here. I see no limits in my future. I see so many people who couldn't imagine the twists and turns their lives made, but I'm excited for the people I haven't met yet, and the opportunities I haven't received yet. I think this is what the adults in my life always talked about, life finally starting for me. It's like a switch flipped, and this is where I begin.

Ask, Believe, Receive,
Julie Catherine

This All Was Only Wishful Thinking

My best friend is a bombshell. She has a great body, gorgeous face, and fantastic personality. I wouldn't want anything less in a best friend. She is so intelligent, kind, and thoughtful. Just an all around wonderful person. She swears she has bad skin, but her fantastic qualities have to balance out, it's only fair to the rest of us she has bad skin. Sorry! Only fair! So, she goes on dates just as much, if not more than I do, and these men last about a month, before they just crap out on her. I don't understand why they do. I can't seem to wrap my head around why someone would want to hurt someone so kind, and gorgeous!

My mom always told me, "Beauty only last's so long, stupid last's forever, always have something else to bring to the table." I understand with botox and plastic surgery we don't need to worry about growing old until were like 80 years old now, but beauty is only skin deep. Just because you are stunning, does NOT mean that will keep someone around. If the other party cannot hold a conversation, or cannot confide in you, you will most likely get kicked to the curb. These days I've seen more and more men want women who have college degrees, work great jobs, and still maintain their looks. You have to be able to bring more to the table that just your beauty.

My question is, my best friend is all that and more, and she still gets burned bad, but why? What is it about someone who is so kind and considerate and intelligent that men think they can just stomp all over her. Are men intimidated by a woman who was raised right? She once dated a guy who she really, really liked. He seemed to like her just as much right back. Told her he couldn't wait for her to meet his family, blah blah blah. Then he all the sudden cut her off. Out of no where, he would randomly hit her up telling her he missed her. It was like always keeping one foot in the door for him. Then, one day, she saw he had a girlfriend. Let me give you a little background...

One morning, after she had spent the night with him, a girl messaged him and said, "Wow, you're up early, are you with a girl or something?" to which he replied "Yes". He was honest with her and told her about these two messages, but didn't get into detail. It sat funny with her. Flash forward a couple weeks later, that same girl was tagged in one of his photos of a board game. She felt something wasn't right, but didn't want to jump to conclusions.  Then, there it was, a picture of him and this girl together, and they were now boyfriend and girlfriend. She was crushed. She couldn't understand why someone would make her seem like she had priority over others, and then rip it all away. What was so bad about her?

My friend is one of those long life friends. Her children and my children will be raised as cousins, and her children will call me their aunt and vise versa. She is a genuine good person, but seems to get the short end of the stick time and time again. What her and I cannot seem to understand is why? Our mothers tell us that the right one is on his way, we just need to be patient, but all this bullshit in between we could do without. It's hard time and time again to watch my best friend cry because another man has broken her heart, but she is such a good person she will still do right by others. It doesn't matter how many times you fall, but just staying the good person you are through all of it counts. Never be spiteful and hurt someone else for the mistakes of others. Treat every person as a new case, but don't discount red flags.

Recently, I dated a guy who kept sending up red flag after red flag, and I distanced myself majorly. He got a little scary, and I was NOT having it. I cut him out. I didn't cut him out because of anything anyone else did to me in the past, I cut him out because he was making me wonder if he was going to kill me in my sleep! I slightly exaggerated that last part, but he was getting creepy none the less. Then, I think to myself, did my best friend and I send up red flags to the men we've dated? Did we make them turn away because we did or said something that they felt was a warning sign? I can't imagine that honestly.

A couple days ago, she had asked me if maybe men were intimidated by us. About a year ago, my father told me they were. He said to me, "You come from a good home, you are educated, strong, confident, and beautiful. Any man would be proud to take you down the isle, but we're all idiots, and we don't get better with age." My father is not the kind to sugar coat anything. Both of my parents feel that if they think I'm doing something wrong, they will tell me, and will expect me to make it right. I may be an adult, but they have been here longer, and they do know more than I do. So, if I did something wrong while dating or in a relationship, believe me, they would tell me. I have done things wrong, and I'm sure my friend has as well, but nothing to warrant this kinda crap that gets handed to us on a silver platter time and time again.

One guy I worked for had looked at me every time I came to him about a story of my heartbreak, and he would say, "I just don't get it, it makes no sense, why does a girl like you have to deal with this crap." I couldn't tell ya! I'm also really not sure why my friend has to either. So, until we find out why time and time again we get pushed aside, we will continue to be the good people we are. I would rather her and I be ourselves, and be kind to those men, so that at the end we know it's the best we could do. That's all we can ask of ourselves, is to just be good people, even when people may not deserve it.

This is What Makes Us Girls.

Men like to make it seem like women are just so crazy, and that they are these gods that we worship. They like to say things that they shouldn't say to a woman who is interested in them, and then take it back. I've heard all kinds of wild things, and as I get older it doesn't really seem to get better. I'm very big on being real, and putting everything up front. If I like you, I like you. If you're a hook up, you know you're a hook up. I don't leave any blurred lines, and I sure as hell don't say anything that I would regret or need to take back later.

One of the things I have heard men say, and accounts from my friends, is "Well, I meant it at the time." Well, that's just wonderful, you meant it at the time. Well, how about you let those feelings sit and settle before you make a crazy rash decision, and say them. Make sure you really feel that way before speaking. THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK. What a concept. Yes, feelings change, I understand that. I am not talking about when we like someone and then all the sudden stop. I'm talking about planning a future with someone, and then ripping the rug underneath them.

Once upon a time, I dated a guy whom I thought was wonderful. He came from a good family, well educated, worked a good job in the city, and he was really handsome. Sometimes, it sounds a lot better on paper, and in this case that's all he was. Very good in theory. So, within about three dates, and two weeks, he looks at me and says, "Do you think someone has met the person they're going to marry within only a few dates?" and I replied, "Well, yeah. My mom knew my dad was the one after the second date." Then, he dropped a bomb. He said, "So, lets get married." And, it didn't stop there. The man kept bringing up marriage like it was something so easy. He brought it up a bunch more times after that. He had asked me if I wanted to be his girlfriend to which I replied sure, and he said "No, do you want to be my girlfriend?" and I told him yes.

So, gathering my information together, he wanted to be my boyfriend, and somewhere down the line he wanted to marry me. He took it all back within about a month. I know we weren't going down the isle anytime soon, and I was in no rush. You get married, and that's it. I know people get divorced, but it should be for a real reason, not because you rushed into it being immature and dumb. What kills me, is this person began to act like I was some jerk off, and like I was absolutely nothing to him. If I was just a hook up, he should've been upfront. If he liked me, again should have been upfront. Say what you mean, mean what you say, and don't say things you don't mean. He wasn't man enough to be real to me.

Now, looking back, logical part of me says I was an idiot for falling for the oldest tricks in the book, and the emotional part says that I was just tricked into feeling something for someone who should have kept his mouth shut. Just zip it! If you feel it keep it inside until the right time. Don't just spew word vomit. Another persons feelings are involved, and yes we heal, but we will always remember.

So, when you men say that women are crazy, ask yourself why we're crazy. How'd we get that way? What was it that you said, and then took back to make us feel that way? I have no issue writing someone out of my life. If you don't want to be here, I will cut you out, and pretend I've never even met you before. You no longer exist.

Every action has a reaction. If you tell a woman that you love her, you better mean it. If you tell a woman you want her to be your girlfriend, you better mean it. If you tell a woman she is the one, and you want to marry her, you better mean it. Don't just say it because it was an idea that popped up into your head. Think before you speak. It will save everyone involved a lot of trouble.


Ask, Believe, Receive,
Julie Catherine

All My Friends Say...

At 24 years old, I still can't seem to switch from emotional to logical, especially after a few free shots of Fireball. I very seldom drink, and when I go to get a drink, it's usually Starbucks. I think drinking is a foul habit that makes people act in a way they would never normally, but I fell victim last night.

Sunday Funday is supposed to be football and beer, and it started that way. I met up with friends around two o'clock at a bar in Hoboken. We ordered pitchers of beer, ate wings, and watched the Jets and the Buccaneer's. I was having a fabulous time, and someone decided to order one shot of Fireball, which I wasn't opposed to. One shot never hurt anybody...

After the game was over, my friend and I found ourselves a new friend in the bartender. Every time we turned around, he had granted us more shots of Fireball. I bought one more beer, and before I knew it I was drunk. I was walking outside with my friends, and the unthinkable happened. There are hundreds of bars in Hoboken, and the guy I like had to come to the one I was at. Of all the places. Him and I have not spoken in months, and he pulled total douche lord moves, one right after the other. Not that long ago I finally deleted his number because it no longer provided me anything. What's the point in holding on to something already gone.

I said hello to his friends, and he wouldn't even look at me. Totally ignored my existence. Let me state I have never done anything wrong to this person to be treated this way. I was always nice and kind to him, and he proved he did not deserve any of it at all. So, I began getting wild and when I was supposed to leave at six, I realized it was now seven. I began dancing with his friends, and he had the nerve to tell a girl to tell me that she was his girlfriend, what he doesn't know is she came to me and told me what he said, she said she didn't know his name, and that he was an asshole for even asking her to do that. Us women tend to stick together.

I was having a great time playing the come back kid role, but it all came to a crashing halt when I watched him kiss another girl right in front of me. My stomach fell, he really had the nerve. The girl was friends with the girl I mentioned previously, and she told me that she has a boyfriend and that she just wanted to have fun. Then, somehow the girl he kissed apologized to me because she felt for me. At this point, I have felt so many urges to just get up and leave, just go. Sober me would have booked it out of there as soon as I saw him, but that logical switch didn't turn on.

Clearly, I was glutton for punishment. We all make mistakes being young and drunk and stupid, but this really is the cherry on top of all of my moronic mistakes. The biggest mistake I made was ever taking this person more seriously than what he was, a douche lord. When a person presents their true colors to you, you should probably take serious note. If I ever found out my son behaved the way he did, I would ream him a new one. I told my mom exactly the way I behaved, and she was nothing short of furious with me. I behaved a way I would normally never, but I was a Fireball fueled emotional train wreck.

What really makes this all very interesting, is they always say we want what we can't have. I have plenty of men who take me on dates, and treat me like a queen, but I was stuck on this one person who wasn't worth a damn. The only thing that set him a part from the rest, was he wasn't at my beckon call. It's a sick twisted cycle we all fall into at some point or another. I just have to chalk this up to a learning experience, he served his purpose in my life, and that's all there is to it.

Moving forward, I hope other people read this a take warning about when a person begins to act funny toward you, it's because they're being a scumbag and cannot be trusted. Let them go. If they are stupid enough to walk out of your life, hold the door wide open for them. Keeping people who don't bring anything to the table in your life is just foolish. I was working on an emotional end, and not at the logical end. One good thing I learned from a wise man by the name of Joe Budden is, "Relationships are never a threat, I'll erase the history and act like we never met." You better believe I did just that. Adios sucker!

All my friends say, I started shootin' doubles when you walked in.
All my friends say, I went a little crazy seein' you with him
You know I don't remember a thing, but they say I sure was raising some cain
I was a rockstar, party hard, getting over you, come back kid, yeah I must have did
What all my friends say...

Ask, Believe, Receive,
Julie Catherine

Whatever Tomorrow Brings ...

So, my story starts with a very good friend of mine. She got a fantastic job, shes making huge strides with her company, and she takes care of everything on her own. She still lives with her parents, and they don't require her to pay rent, but they also don't want to shove her out of the nest yet. She has a wonderful group of friends and family who supports her, and keeps her head on straight. Every aspect of her life is in order, even her love life.

She has no boyfriend, no husband, no fiance, and no applicants worth a damn. Her life is on par with moving toward the meeting the man she will marry, and have a family with. She told me that she felt that the reason she hadn't met the one yet was because the one is still putting his life in order, just as she is. She said that she needs to work on herself, her well-being, her fitness, her mind, her career, and having fun. When the timing is right, he will present himself, and everything she has worked so hard for will fall into place.

Girl's like my friend are just being molded into the fantastic women they are meant to be. It is perfectly okay to be single and have to be selfish and focus on yourself. So many of my friends are married, or getting married, and that's wonderful, but I have friends who are just desperate to marry, but don't realize they need to love themselves and be the absolute best they can possibly be in order to have a wonderful relationship and meet the man they will marry. Too many are caught up in just not being alone. No one is ever alone, and a relationship does not define your loneliness. Yes, you go to bed at night with no one else in it except maybe your dog, but like I said, you're being molded into the person you are meant to be so that when you have hit your peak of perfection, the right one will come along, and all of the pieces of your puzzle will click together.

So many women don't want to see the bigger picture. They occupy their time with ideas in their head of the way their life is supposed to be, but what if it winds up being way better than they imagined? I think women get the image and their standards confused. Yes, have solid standards, notice I didn't say high, high is different. High standards are usually so out of this world, that they are impractical, but solid standards, and knowing what you want, and not settling for any less than you deserve, are where you will put yourself on the right track.

There's a bigger picture, look at it, take it in, and understand that there is someone out there for you, you just need to focus on the best you possible before he or she comes along to sweep you off your feet. There's a lot of stepping stones on the way to the one, and you should step on them all. Some find it right away, some take a little longer, there's no need to compare, it means everyone's life takes a different course. Let your life take you down the course it is meant to.

Ask, Believe, Receive,
Julie Catherine

Yummy, Yummy, in My Tummy!

As most of my readers know, I am very into health and wellness. Since using Arbonne, which is all organic, gluten free, and vegan free products, I have tried to switch over whatever I can that follows those three criteria. I am by no means a vegan or a vegetarian, I love a good hamburger, but I do feel that where ever something can be replaced, I will replace it.

With all that being said I have been introduced to Latta. They are a Russian company directed toward health and wellness. They use probiotics that help your digestive system, and keep your whole body in great health. Latta is kefir (similar to yogurt) and green tea, which tastes DELICIOUS. They are all natural, which means no added thickeners or artificial sweeteners. They are not a mass produced product, each batch is made in their own cup that they come in, and the are grass fed. The kefir comes in a bunch of flavors, plain, vanilla, strawberry, peach, and much more. The green tea is lemon or ginger flavored. The plain kefir can be used as a dressing, dip, sauce, and much more.

I absolutely love the Green tea with Lemon. It tastes so delicious. The whole bottle is 100 calories, but I don't count them because I know the health benefits I get from drinking it. I am obsessed with the vanilla kefir. I mix it with granola and fruit to make a delicious parfait. I have had my friends and family try it as well, and they all absolutely love it. Healthy food can be delicious, and this company has hit the nail on the head. I LOVE this stuff!! Go visit www.lattausa.com for more information on this yumminess

YUMMY YUMMY IN MY TUMMY

Drinking my delicious Green Tea with Lemon.

Ask, Believe, Receive,
Julie Catherine

Arbonne or Bust: FC5 SHAMPOO, CONDITIONER, and BODYWASH

It's not a secret, I have a shit ton of hair. I always have. My hair is long, dark, thick, kinky, and wavy/curly. I dye it and fry it. I had the ombre, which I loved, but the bleach destroyed my hair. It doesn't help that I had to budget myself from buying all the Paul Mitchell products and just buy store brand shampoos and conditioners. My hair was crusty to say the least.

I decided I needed a change so I looked into "no-poo" which is a replacement for shampoo and conditioner that keeps the natural oils in your hair. It's a mix of lemon juice and baking soda. It sounded good on paper, until I found out that it isn't good for dyed hair. I don't plan on stopping from getting my hair dyed, I just do it less and don't use bleach. So, needless to say, I was searching for something to come my way. When I joined Arbonne, I found just that. They have a shower line called FC5 that contains shampoo, conditioner, and body wash  I couldn't wait to try it. As soon as it came in, I broke open the box as fast as I could and hopped in the shower.

Arbonne Shampoo, Conditioner, and Body Wash

I opened up the shampoo, which smells so clean, and put it in my hair. It didn't foam up, but it created like a mask on my hair. It felt like it got more into my hair than just onto it. After washing it out, I put on the conditioner. I LOVED the conditioner. It really added so much moisture to my dried out hair. It really is the best my hair has ever felt. I let it sit in my hair as I used the bodywash. The bodywash wasn't harsh on my skin and it really made it feel smooth and fresh. I didn't feel like it stripped my skin of its natural nutrients.

When I got out and I dried off, I decided not to put any other products in my hair so that I could really know what my hair felt like without anything in it but Arbonne. I blew it out and then straightened it, and let me tell you, MY HAIR FEELS AMAZING! It is the best it has felt in so long. It smells so clean, and I totally don't need to add to the shampoo and conditioner with another product because it speaks for itself. I am now obsessed with Arbonne, and I will be an avid user for life. Why try anything else? It is that fantastic. I don't just say things just to say it either, I will be the first one to denounce anything if it doesn't work, but this does. I am so in love with my hair.

My REAL hair, super fab thanks to Arbonne!

Ask, Believe, Receive,

Julie Catherine