After an extremely enlightening conversation with a male friend of mine, I was completely dumbfounded by his ignorance of life. He told me that 98% of men cheat, which I know to be bullshit. On top of that he claimed how all of his friends cheat as well, and that he won't cheat once he's married, but he will feel some kind of temptation. He says he's going to get it all out of his system before he marries his girlfriend, but in the mean time he cheats on her. Any one else think, "what a douche bag"? I sure as hell feel that way.
Let me not totally throw this person under the bus. He is a nice guy, funny, and when he wants to be he can be very intelligent. Unfortunately, like every man who cheats, he harbors the same qualities all men who cheat have. They lack integrity, self-esteem, and humbleness. They all think they're hot pieces of shit, and that every woman that looks at them wants them. Men who cheat are insecure and need gratification from other women to ensure that they are attractive. They have NO confidence in themselves, so they need to be reassured by others that they are valued. They'll claim that it's because they want to get laid, but yet they have a girlfriend.
Men who cheat surround themselves with other men who lack integrity and self-esteem. People who are alike will follow others who are just like them. It makes it easier for them to justify that what they're doing is correct, even though it shows that they aren't man enough to be with one person. The same goes for women. Don't get me wrong, I don't want to man bash, because I know many men who do not cheat because they are confident enough in themselves not to. Women who cheat lack the same qualities as well, they just need to feel that they are attractive and have someone verify that for them.
Men and women who cheat will constantly say things like this, and these are your red flags, "I'm so fat.", "I used to have bigger muscles", "I need a boob job.", "I need to hit the gym more.". They will constantly complain about things they don't like about themselves. They are looking for you to tell they that they're not fat, and that they are buff, and that their boobs are great. They need you to reaffirm to them that they are in fact attractive. What you will notice about these people is that they are thin, they are muscular, and they have a great figure, but they don't think that. It's not your job to fix these people. I have dated my fair share of cheaters, and non-cheaters, and believe me I can tell who is who from the beginning.
Two of the cheaters I dated, both had the same issues, they thought they lacked some attractive physical quality, and they went on and on about it. They both also cheated on me, but it was because they lacked integrity, and they lacked self-esteem. They needed someone else, besides me, who could tell them they were attractive. It's like the more people that tell them they are attractive, that means they must be. The five men I dated that did not cheat, all displayed confidence in themselves. They never complained about what they had or didn't have, they were all honest, stand up men. The man I am dating now, I know would never cheat. He doesn't lack self-esteem, and he is a genuine person. He knows his value, and he never whines and complains about his looks. He is a handsome man with a great heart. He is the kind of man women marry, not like the cheaters who we date for a short period of time.
When I was being cheated on, I always knew. I always had a gut feeling, and I could always tell when I was being lied to. My male friend, who I mentioned earlier, has a girlfriend. He spends only the weekends, and sometimes not the whole weekend, with his girlfriend. They have been together for years, and my theories on her is that either she is A) stupid and doesn't know he's cheating, B) knows he's cheating and won't say anything, or C) she's cheating on him herself and doesn't care what he does. They are barely ever around each other, and if he has time to cheat on her, she has time to cheat on him. I told him before that the only reason he stays with her is because he is comfortable. He knows that she is so beat over him, she will stay. It's just a cycle they have gotten into, and I don't think he will stop cheating.
Cheating on someone is a character flaw, it doesn't make you cool, or hot, or sexy, it makes you pathetic and weak. If you would be angry and leave the person you're with if they cheated on you, you should not do that to them either. Cheating shows a lack of self control, integrity, honesty, trustworthiness, and self-esteem. It really just states to the world that you cannot be trusted or respected. The cheater is always to blame for the cheating, never the person being cheated on or with. Everyone gets angry with the person who helped the cheater cheat, but that person doesn't owe anyone anything if they aren't in the relationship. Being in a relationship means you will be with only that person, not that person and everyone else who you think is looking at you as you walk across the street. It's time to either put up or shut up. Be in a relationship with one person, or be single.
Most people don't cheat, most people don't lack integrity, or respect, or self-esteem. Most people get into relationships because they want to be with one person only. So anyone who tells you everyone cheats is just saying that to confirm to themselves that what they're doing is right and acceptable. They need to say that not to tell you, but to tell themselves. It's a way for them to feel better about what they're doing, even though they know it's wrong. Cheaters never win. They end up in loveless marriages and relationships because while they were chasing tail, they missed out on finding a valuable relationship.
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