When You Say Best Friends Means Friends Forever.

About three years ago, I became good friends with a girl I worked with. She was really pretty, her body was sick, her hair was always so pretty, and her make-up was flawless. Her and I bonded over our boyfriends. Hers lived in another country, and mine was just a mess. So, her and I would vent our frustrations to each other.

Around Christmas time, her and I did a lot of shopping together. We were always together, and she had quickly become a very good friend of mine. As time went on, we just kept getting closer. She would take me with her to beauty supply stores, she had her cosmetology license, and we would always go to dinner and grab drinks. Around Valentines day, since her boyfriend was in another country, and mine had broken up with me for the millionth time, she asked me to be her valentine, and I accepted. We got each other silly gifts, and went to dinner like the lonely biddies we were.

Our friendship continued, and then I left my job, and that's when things started to get weird. Her and I remained friends, and she would constantly ask me to visit her at work and bring her Friendly's, and I didn't mind because we were friends, right? When I would show up at her job, the girls who once were my best friends, were so cold and unfriendly toward me, and I had NO idea why. I just figured we were drifting a part because I no longer worked there.

When it got warmer out, she would invite me to her family's beach house, and we would still chat all the time. I noticed all the girls I once hung out with were all going out together, and I wasn't included. I had no idea why. These girls used to always invite me out, and now they hadn't asked me anywhere. So, me being a brat, I posted on Facebook, when I had one, that I thought it was messed up what they were doing, never directly calling anyone out. I then got a nasty Facebook message from a girl I had worked with asking if I was talking about the group of girls, and I lied and said no, because she had confirmed for me that I had absolutely been kicked out of the group, and I had no idea why. Then, shortly after the Facebook message, one of my more loyal friends messaged me, and asked if the status I had made on Facebook was about the girl whom I had been friends with, and that's when the can of worms opened. I had found out that this girl, whom I thought this entire time was my friend, had been talking so much crap about me behind my back. She was telling these girls that I would just randomly visit her at work, which was NOT true, she would ask me to come because she was bored. She would tell them that she didn't even want to be my friend, and that we never hung out, which was another lie. She constantly had asked me to hang out, and I was always the one who was busy and couldn't.

Now, I'm wondering to myself why this person would just be so horrible to me. I had never been anything, but a good friend to her. I decided to text her, and I told her that I knew everything and I never wanted to speak to her again, and she didn't deny what she said, and she never apologized, and I ended the friendship right then and there. Unfortunately, I thought she deserved a taste of her own medicine, she was so good and talking behind my back, but couldn't say anything to my face, so I took to Facebook to teach her a lesson. I began calling her out on her lies, and made comments about how she wore pounds of make-up, and how all her hair is fake. She wore a ridiculous amount of extensions.

It took maybe a day or two, and she gave me what I wanted. Let me state, this girl did not have a Facebook, so that meant that someone was relaying the message, and let me tell you, that little snake got deleted and blocked from everything so fast. Anyway, she messaged me saying how she was so happy our friendship was over, bla bla bla, as though I was forcing her to be my friend or something. Sicko. What I should have spotted from the beginning is how she would constantly talk crap about all of the girls we worked with, but would smile in their faces. One girl was telling her personal business to this girl, and she immediately ran and told me, and other girls came to me telling me they had heard the news from her as well. She was so fake, and the snake I mentioned, well she used to call her an ugly slut allllllll the time, and then smile in her face, and to this day they are still friends!

Why she did this to me, I didn't understand, and then I realized, she was jealous of me. I had way more going for me than she ever did. My boyfriend lived in this country, and I was getting a college degree, and had way more opportunities available for me than she did. She may be successful now, and I wouldn't know, but I know she will only get so far in life because she will be asked to pay for the evil she has done to people, because I know I wasn't the only one. I just happen to be the one who found out about what she did. Since then I have forgiven her, because she is just really misguided. Do unto others as you would have them do to you. I was wrong for being immature and taking to Facebook, but I felt she needed to feel it on her end, and I won't take that back.

The lesson to take from this, and what I learned, is that if a person talks crap about EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEIR "BEST FRIENDS" they are absolutely talking about you too. It does not matter how close you are, or how often you hang out, or how often you talk, they are bashing you. Jealousy is a terrible disease, and unfortunately the ones closest to you may be the ones most jealous of you. Keep your eyes open, and if you feel something isn't adding up, maybe it's time to slowly distance yourself. Toxic people are all around, and you just have to be aware of who is real and who is fake. I know we all get annoyed with our friends, and we may walk away from them thinking to ourselves, "My goodness, you are just annoying me right now!", but that's totally natural. It's when you are hanging out with someone, hanging out with their family, and talking to them everyday, while you have no idea they are telling people your personal business and lying about you. It's unfortunate, but a lesson we all must go through in life, in some way or another. Learn who is true to you, and value their friendship they way you would want them to value yours.

Ask, Believe, Receive,
Julie Catherine

The Fabulous Life of Hermes.

Religiously, I watch Housewives, and The Real Housewives of Miami happened to be the one I watched the other day. Lea Black and Lisa Hochstein, who happens to be my favorite in this franchise, were talking about Hermes Birkin bags. I know that they cost thousands upon thousands of dollars, and are the absolute most coveted bag ever. It's never a bag, its a Birkin. It's just that much better than any bag you have ever owned or laid your eyes on.

Lea Black and Lisa Hochstein

Most people would say, "Why would someone spend $10k-100k on a purse?", but those people don't understand that, and what I found out from Real Housewives of Miami, is that these bags aren't on a regular shelf in the store. Lisa owns a few Birkins, but they aren't anything compared to Lea's collection, so Lisa enlists Lea to help her get more. Now, I just thought that if you had they money, you could buy it, but I was so wrong. You have to build a reputation with the Hermes store/franchise. When you have done enough spending, you then earn the right. This right is not granted to everyone. Lisa has a few Birkins, but they were tracked down by people who work night and day to get these bags. You have to know someone, who knows someone, who knows someone.

So, Lisa finds Lea willing to help her get more. She has an insane relationship with the Hermes franchise across the world. What about the rest of us? Well, we don't have a fairy godmother like Lea Black to magically pull Birkins out of thin air, the rest of us are left to eBay, and portero.com. Portero is a luxury consignment shop online that sells from Chanel, to Gucci, to the fabulous Hermes Birkin. Even at pre-owed status, the Birkin will still run from five to six figures. If you see a Birkin for any less than that, be cautious, it's a scam.

The other day, I was on eBay looking at Birkins, when I noticed one that had a bid starting at 0.99. Not a single other Birkin started at that price, so immediately I was suspicious, and I put it on my watch list. The bag had only increased to $1200. That's right, not even five figures. The next day, I went to view it again, only to find out that the bag was actually taken off of eBay. The only reason I could think was that the bag was a total fraud, either stolen or fake. No one who bought a Birkin themselves would ever sell it for such an insulting price. I believe in eBay, and I'm sure that's why the bag was taken down. There's too many resources out there on how to be a smart shopper, and how to spot a fake. If you get taken for a fool, that was your own fault before doing research. ALWAYS DO YOUR RESEARCH!

Birkins are so exclusive, that even if you're a billionaire, it does not mean you can just walk into a store and buy it. According to Hermes, you have to EARN it, and build a reputation with them. You need to be somebody in the Hermes world to achieve that bag. Which makes it just that much more special when you get it, because not everyone gets to have it. I want one, and maybe one day I will have the privilege, but until then I will fanaticize about owning my very own Birkin!


Ask, Believe, Receive,
Julie Catherine

They Say It's Your Birthday...

Happy Birthday to Me! September 21st marks the beginning of my twenty-fourth year! I looked back at a year ago, to now, and I have changed significantly. The person who was here a year ago, is no longer here. It's amazing how we grow and change, but I feel like I'm moving in a better direction. I have finally started my career, and I have closed the door on a lot of things that I was hung up on. I woke up feeling like this is a fresh start. I didn't bring any baggage into this new year of my life, but I did bring in a fresh pair of Louboutins!

The Louboutins I bought. I took no pictures, so this is what you'll get. You have the idea.

Looking back at this past year, I think It was such a huge transitioning period for me. I have done a 180 from where I was before. This time a year ago, I had lost my uncle in unfortunate circumstances, I was still in college part-time, and I was in a relationship that was going down hill fast. I ended that relationship, and began dating someone new shortly after. It was good for me to get out of the bad one, and move to the better one, but he turned out to not be that wonderful either. I will say this though, I learned a lot about what I want out of a relationship, and what I deserve. He was a great guy in the beginning, and I realize I deserve that, just not the hidden baggage he had. I learned a lot about what I want, and what I don't want. My standards and convictions have been made clear, no more blurred lines.

Me, The day before my birthday. Last day as 23!

Graduating college was my next huge accomplishment this past year. I can't lie, I thought I was never going to make it out. I was on five and a half years, and I didn't see an end. That's what happens when you transfer schools in the state of New Jersey, you get screwed with your credits. I finally finished, and when I did I was sad it was actually over. I had met so many fantastic people, and had the time of my life. It had to end, and I had to move forward with my life. After college, I struggled with finding a job. I thought it would be easier having a degree, it's not at all. I was just one of many who graduated, and I needed to find my place. I finally found in eight months after graduating, but that's better than most can say.

Day of my graduation from Rutgers!

This year, I have also made long lasting friendships with plenty of people. I was always told, when you graduate college, and begin your life, you begin to see who will be your forever friends. I do not have friends. I have family. My friends become my family, and that's why my circle is so small. I wouldn't have it any other way. I love the people in my life right now, and if we drift apart, or if we remain together forever, they will always be the ones who taught me the most about life and myself.

Shit happens in life we have no control over, and a few things happened to me this year that were terrifying, and really helped me appreciate that growing old is a luxury most cannot afford. I am grateful every single day I wake up, and get to see my wonderful family, and my wonderful friends. In this moment, I am happy, and my goal is to remain that way no matter what life decides to throw at me. When you make plans, God laughs, but he laughs because he has better ideas for you than you do. I plan on making this year a fantastic year, and I just plan on going up and up from here. I see no limits in my future. I see so many people who couldn't imagine the twists and turns their lives made, but I'm excited for the people I haven't met yet, and the opportunities I haven't received yet. I think this is what the adults in my life always talked about, life finally starting for me. It's like a switch flipped, and this is where I begin.

Ask, Believe, Receive,
Julie Catherine

This All Was Only Wishful Thinking

My best friend is a bombshell. She has a great body, gorgeous face, and fantastic personality. I wouldn't want anything less in a best friend. She is so intelligent, kind, and thoughtful. Just an all around wonderful person. She swears she has bad skin, but her fantastic qualities have to balance out, it's only fair to the rest of us she has bad skin. Sorry! Only fair! So, she goes on dates just as much, if not more than I do, and these men last about a month, before they just crap out on her. I don't understand why they do. I can't seem to wrap my head around why someone would want to hurt someone so kind, and gorgeous!

My mom always told me, "Beauty only last's so long, stupid last's forever, always have something else to bring to the table." I understand with botox and plastic surgery we don't need to worry about growing old until were like 80 years old now, but beauty is only skin deep. Just because you are stunning, does NOT mean that will keep someone around. If the other party cannot hold a conversation, or cannot confide in you, you will most likely get kicked to the curb. These days I've seen more and more men want women who have college degrees, work great jobs, and still maintain their looks. You have to be able to bring more to the table that just your beauty.

My question is, my best friend is all that and more, and she still gets burned bad, but why? What is it about someone who is so kind and considerate and intelligent that men think they can just stomp all over her. Are men intimidated by a woman who was raised right? She once dated a guy who she really, really liked. He seemed to like her just as much right back. Told her he couldn't wait for her to meet his family, blah blah blah. Then he all the sudden cut her off. Out of no where, he would randomly hit her up telling her he missed her. It was like always keeping one foot in the door for him. Then, one day, she saw he had a girlfriend. Let me give you a little background...

One morning, after she had spent the night with him, a girl messaged him and said, "Wow, you're up early, are you with a girl or something?" to which he replied "Yes". He was honest with her and told her about these two messages, but didn't get into detail. It sat funny with her. Flash forward a couple weeks later, that same girl was tagged in one of his photos of a board game. She felt something wasn't right, but didn't want to jump to conclusions.  Then, there it was, a picture of him and this girl together, and they were now boyfriend and girlfriend. She was crushed. She couldn't understand why someone would make her seem like she had priority over others, and then rip it all away. What was so bad about her?

My friend is one of those long life friends. Her children and my children will be raised as cousins, and her children will call me their aunt and vise versa. She is a genuine good person, but seems to get the short end of the stick time and time again. What her and I cannot seem to understand is why? Our mothers tell us that the right one is on his way, we just need to be patient, but all this bullshit in between we could do without. It's hard time and time again to watch my best friend cry because another man has broken her heart, but she is such a good person she will still do right by others. It doesn't matter how many times you fall, but just staying the good person you are through all of it counts. Never be spiteful and hurt someone else for the mistakes of others. Treat every person as a new case, but don't discount red flags.

Recently, I dated a guy who kept sending up red flag after red flag, and I distanced myself majorly. He got a little scary, and I was NOT having it. I cut him out. I didn't cut him out because of anything anyone else did to me in the past, I cut him out because he was making me wonder if he was going to kill me in my sleep! I slightly exaggerated that last part, but he was getting creepy none the less. Then, I think to myself, did my best friend and I send up red flags to the men we've dated? Did we make them turn away because we did or said something that they felt was a warning sign? I can't imagine that honestly.

A couple days ago, she had asked me if maybe men were intimidated by us. About a year ago, my father told me they were. He said to me, "You come from a good home, you are educated, strong, confident, and beautiful. Any man would be proud to take you down the isle, but we're all idiots, and we don't get better with age." My father is not the kind to sugar coat anything. Both of my parents feel that if they think I'm doing something wrong, they will tell me, and will expect me to make it right. I may be an adult, but they have been here longer, and they do know more than I do. So, if I did something wrong while dating or in a relationship, believe me, they would tell me. I have done things wrong, and I'm sure my friend has as well, but nothing to warrant this kinda crap that gets handed to us on a silver platter time and time again.

One guy I worked for had looked at me every time I came to him about a story of my heartbreak, and he would say, "I just don't get it, it makes no sense, why does a girl like you have to deal with this crap." I couldn't tell ya! I'm also really not sure why my friend has to either. So, until we find out why time and time again we get pushed aside, we will continue to be the good people we are. I would rather her and I be ourselves, and be kind to those men, so that at the end we know it's the best we could do. That's all we can ask of ourselves, is to just be good people, even when people may not deserve it.

This is What Makes Us Girls.

Men like to make it seem like women are just so crazy, and that they are these gods that we worship. They like to say things that they shouldn't say to a woman who is interested in them, and then take it back. I've heard all kinds of wild things, and as I get older it doesn't really seem to get better. I'm very big on being real, and putting everything up front. If I like you, I like you. If you're a hook up, you know you're a hook up. I don't leave any blurred lines, and I sure as hell don't say anything that I would regret or need to take back later.

One of the things I have heard men say, and accounts from my friends, is "Well, I meant it at the time." Well, that's just wonderful, you meant it at the time. Well, how about you let those feelings sit and settle before you make a crazy rash decision, and say them. Make sure you really feel that way before speaking. THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK. What a concept. Yes, feelings change, I understand that. I am not talking about when we like someone and then all the sudden stop. I'm talking about planning a future with someone, and then ripping the rug underneath them.

Once upon a time, I dated a guy whom I thought was wonderful. He came from a good family, well educated, worked a good job in the city, and he was really handsome. Sometimes, it sounds a lot better on paper, and in this case that's all he was. Very good in theory. So, within about three dates, and two weeks, he looks at me and says, "Do you think someone has met the person they're going to marry within only a few dates?" and I replied, "Well, yeah. My mom knew my dad was the one after the second date." Then, he dropped a bomb. He said, "So, lets get married." And, it didn't stop there. The man kept bringing up marriage like it was something so easy. He brought it up a bunch more times after that. He had asked me if I wanted to be his girlfriend to which I replied sure, and he said "No, do you want to be my girlfriend?" and I told him yes.

So, gathering my information together, he wanted to be my boyfriend, and somewhere down the line he wanted to marry me. He took it all back within about a month. I know we weren't going down the isle anytime soon, and I was in no rush. You get married, and that's it. I know people get divorced, but it should be for a real reason, not because you rushed into it being immature and dumb. What kills me, is this person began to act like I was some jerk off, and like I was absolutely nothing to him. If I was just a hook up, he should've been upfront. If he liked me, again should have been upfront. Say what you mean, mean what you say, and don't say things you don't mean. He wasn't man enough to be real to me.

Now, looking back, logical part of me says I was an idiot for falling for the oldest tricks in the book, and the emotional part says that I was just tricked into feeling something for someone who should have kept his mouth shut. Just zip it! If you feel it keep it inside until the right time. Don't just spew word vomit. Another persons feelings are involved, and yes we heal, but we will always remember.

So, when you men say that women are crazy, ask yourself why we're crazy. How'd we get that way? What was it that you said, and then took back to make us feel that way? I have no issue writing someone out of my life. If you don't want to be here, I will cut you out, and pretend I've never even met you before. You no longer exist.

Every action has a reaction. If you tell a woman that you love her, you better mean it. If you tell a woman you want her to be your girlfriend, you better mean it. If you tell a woman she is the one, and you want to marry her, you better mean it. Don't just say it because it was an idea that popped up into your head. Think before you speak. It will save everyone involved a lot of trouble.


Ask, Believe, Receive,
Julie Catherine

All My Friends Say...

At 24 years old, I still can't seem to switch from emotional to logical, especially after a few free shots of Fireball. I very seldom drink, and when I go to get a drink, it's usually Starbucks. I think drinking is a foul habit that makes people act in a way they would never normally, but I fell victim last night.

Sunday Funday is supposed to be football and beer, and it started that way. I met up with friends around two o'clock at a bar in Hoboken. We ordered pitchers of beer, ate wings, and watched the Jets and the Buccaneer's. I was having a fabulous time, and someone decided to order one shot of Fireball, which I wasn't opposed to. One shot never hurt anybody...

After the game was over, my friend and I found ourselves a new friend in the bartender. Every time we turned around, he had granted us more shots of Fireball. I bought one more beer, and before I knew it I was drunk. I was walking outside with my friends, and the unthinkable happened. There are hundreds of bars in Hoboken, and the guy I like had to come to the one I was at. Of all the places. Him and I have not spoken in months, and he pulled total douche lord moves, one right after the other. Not that long ago I finally deleted his number because it no longer provided me anything. What's the point in holding on to something already gone.

I said hello to his friends, and he wouldn't even look at me. Totally ignored my existence. Let me state I have never done anything wrong to this person to be treated this way. I was always nice and kind to him, and he proved he did not deserve any of it at all. So, I began getting wild and when I was supposed to leave at six, I realized it was now seven. I began dancing with his friends, and he had the nerve to tell a girl to tell me that she was his girlfriend, what he doesn't know is she came to me and told me what he said, she said she didn't know his name, and that he was an asshole for even asking her to do that. Us women tend to stick together.

I was having a great time playing the come back kid role, but it all came to a crashing halt when I watched him kiss another girl right in front of me. My stomach fell, he really had the nerve. The girl was friends with the girl I mentioned previously, and she told me that she has a boyfriend and that she just wanted to have fun. Then, somehow the girl he kissed apologized to me because she felt for me. At this point, I have felt so many urges to just get up and leave, just go. Sober me would have booked it out of there as soon as I saw him, but that logical switch didn't turn on.

Clearly, I was glutton for punishment. We all make mistakes being young and drunk and stupid, but this really is the cherry on top of all of my moronic mistakes. The biggest mistake I made was ever taking this person more seriously than what he was, a douche lord. When a person presents their true colors to you, you should probably take serious note. If I ever found out my son behaved the way he did, I would ream him a new one. I told my mom exactly the way I behaved, and she was nothing short of furious with me. I behaved a way I would normally never, but I was a Fireball fueled emotional train wreck.

What really makes this all very interesting, is they always say we want what we can't have. I have plenty of men who take me on dates, and treat me like a queen, but I was stuck on this one person who wasn't worth a damn. The only thing that set him a part from the rest, was he wasn't at my beckon call. It's a sick twisted cycle we all fall into at some point or another. I just have to chalk this up to a learning experience, he served his purpose in my life, and that's all there is to it.

Moving forward, I hope other people read this a take warning about when a person begins to act funny toward you, it's because they're being a scumbag and cannot be trusted. Let them go. If they are stupid enough to walk out of your life, hold the door wide open for them. Keeping people who don't bring anything to the table in your life is just foolish. I was working on an emotional end, and not at the logical end. One good thing I learned from a wise man by the name of Joe Budden is, "Relationships are never a threat, I'll erase the history and act like we never met." You better believe I did just that. Adios sucker!

All my friends say, I started shootin' doubles when you walked in.
All my friends say, I went a little crazy seein' you with him
You know I don't remember a thing, but they say I sure was raising some cain
I was a rockstar, party hard, getting over you, come back kid, yeah I must have did
What all my friends say...

Ask, Believe, Receive,
Julie Catherine

Whatever Tomorrow Brings ...

So, my story starts with a very good friend of mine. She got a fantastic job, shes making huge strides with her company, and she takes care of everything on her own. She still lives with her parents, and they don't require her to pay rent, but they also don't want to shove her out of the nest yet. She has a wonderful group of friends and family who supports her, and keeps her head on straight. Every aspect of her life is in order, even her love life.

She has no boyfriend, no husband, no fiance, and no applicants worth a damn. Her life is on par with moving toward the meeting the man she will marry, and have a family with. She told me that she felt that the reason she hadn't met the one yet was because the one is still putting his life in order, just as she is. She said that she needs to work on herself, her well-being, her fitness, her mind, her career, and having fun. When the timing is right, he will present himself, and everything she has worked so hard for will fall into place.

Girl's like my friend are just being molded into the fantastic women they are meant to be. It is perfectly okay to be single and have to be selfish and focus on yourself. So many of my friends are married, or getting married, and that's wonderful, but I have friends who are just desperate to marry, but don't realize they need to love themselves and be the absolute best they can possibly be in order to have a wonderful relationship and meet the man they will marry. Too many are caught up in just not being alone. No one is ever alone, and a relationship does not define your loneliness. Yes, you go to bed at night with no one else in it except maybe your dog, but like I said, you're being molded into the person you are meant to be so that when you have hit your peak of perfection, the right one will come along, and all of the pieces of your puzzle will click together.

So many women don't want to see the bigger picture. They occupy their time with ideas in their head of the way their life is supposed to be, but what if it winds up being way better than they imagined? I think women get the image and their standards confused. Yes, have solid standards, notice I didn't say high, high is different. High standards are usually so out of this world, that they are impractical, but solid standards, and knowing what you want, and not settling for any less than you deserve, are where you will put yourself on the right track.

There's a bigger picture, look at it, take it in, and understand that there is someone out there for you, you just need to focus on the best you possible before he or she comes along to sweep you off your feet. There's a lot of stepping stones on the way to the one, and you should step on them all. Some find it right away, some take a little longer, there's no need to compare, it means everyone's life takes a different course. Let your life take you down the course it is meant to.

Ask, Believe, Receive,
Julie Catherine