This All Was Only Wishful Thinking

My best friend is a bombshell. She has a great body, gorgeous face, and fantastic personality. I wouldn't want anything less in a best friend. She is so intelligent, kind, and thoughtful. Just an all around wonderful person. She swears she has bad skin, but her fantastic qualities have to balance out, it's only fair to the rest of us she has bad skin. Sorry! Only fair! So, she goes on dates just as much, if not more than I do, and these men last about a month, before they just crap out on her. I don't understand why they do. I can't seem to wrap my head around why someone would want to hurt someone so kind, and gorgeous!

My mom always told me, "Beauty only last's so long, stupid last's forever, always have something else to bring to the table." I understand with botox and plastic surgery we don't need to worry about growing old until were like 80 years old now, but beauty is only skin deep. Just because you are stunning, does NOT mean that will keep someone around. If the other party cannot hold a conversation, or cannot confide in you, you will most likely get kicked to the curb. These days I've seen more and more men want women who have college degrees, work great jobs, and still maintain their looks. You have to be able to bring more to the table that just your beauty.

My question is, my best friend is all that and more, and she still gets burned bad, but why? What is it about someone who is so kind and considerate and intelligent that men think they can just stomp all over her. Are men intimidated by a woman who was raised right? She once dated a guy who she really, really liked. He seemed to like her just as much right back. Told her he couldn't wait for her to meet his family, blah blah blah. Then he all the sudden cut her off. Out of no where, he would randomly hit her up telling her he missed her. It was like always keeping one foot in the door for him. Then, one day, she saw he had a girlfriend. Let me give you a little background...

One morning, after she had spent the night with him, a girl messaged him and said, "Wow, you're up early, are you with a girl or something?" to which he replied "Yes". He was honest with her and told her about these two messages, but didn't get into detail. It sat funny with her. Flash forward a couple weeks later, that same girl was tagged in one of his photos of a board game. She felt something wasn't right, but didn't want to jump to conclusions.  Then, there it was, a picture of him and this girl together, and they were now boyfriend and girlfriend. She was crushed. She couldn't understand why someone would make her seem like she had priority over others, and then rip it all away. What was so bad about her?

My friend is one of those long life friends. Her children and my children will be raised as cousins, and her children will call me their aunt and vise versa. She is a genuine good person, but seems to get the short end of the stick time and time again. What her and I cannot seem to understand is why? Our mothers tell us that the right one is on his way, we just need to be patient, but all this bullshit in between we could do without. It's hard time and time again to watch my best friend cry because another man has broken her heart, but she is such a good person she will still do right by others. It doesn't matter how many times you fall, but just staying the good person you are through all of it counts. Never be spiteful and hurt someone else for the mistakes of others. Treat every person as a new case, but don't discount red flags.

Recently, I dated a guy who kept sending up red flag after red flag, and I distanced myself majorly. He got a little scary, and I was NOT having it. I cut him out. I didn't cut him out because of anything anyone else did to me in the past, I cut him out because he was making me wonder if he was going to kill me in my sleep! I slightly exaggerated that last part, but he was getting creepy none the less. Then, I think to myself, did my best friend and I send up red flags to the men we've dated? Did we make them turn away because we did or said something that they felt was a warning sign? I can't imagine that honestly.

A couple days ago, she had asked me if maybe men were intimidated by us. About a year ago, my father told me they were. He said to me, "You come from a good home, you are educated, strong, confident, and beautiful. Any man would be proud to take you down the isle, but we're all idiots, and we don't get better with age." My father is not the kind to sugar coat anything. Both of my parents feel that if they think I'm doing something wrong, they will tell me, and will expect me to make it right. I may be an adult, but they have been here longer, and they do know more than I do. So, if I did something wrong while dating or in a relationship, believe me, they would tell me. I have done things wrong, and I'm sure my friend has as well, but nothing to warrant this kinda crap that gets handed to us on a silver platter time and time again.

One guy I worked for had looked at me every time I came to him about a story of my heartbreak, and he would say, "I just don't get it, it makes no sense, why does a girl like you have to deal with this crap." I couldn't tell ya! I'm also really not sure why my friend has to either. So, until we find out why time and time again we get pushed aside, we will continue to be the good people we are. I would rather her and I be ourselves, and be kind to those men, so that at the end we know it's the best we could do. That's all we can ask of ourselves, is to just be good people, even when people may not deserve it.