Chivalry is Dead. Or is it?

So, I am a firm believer in the man paying for the dates. If we go to dinner, movies, any activity that is deemed as a date the man should pay. I have before acted like I was about to pay in a move to test the person I am with, and if he accepts the payment I have offered, he will never get a second date. It is just rude and bad manners if a man makes a woman pay. Even my guy friends never make me pay. It's just the appropriate way to do things.

Then, there's the "BUT IT'S 2013!" crew.

NEVER go back on your word! Say what you mean, mean what you say, and don't say things you don't mean.

These are the people who expect women to either split the bill, pay for their own portion, or expect them to pay every other time. That to me is a cop out, it's saying to me, "I don't have enough money to pay for us both." or "I'm a cheap asshole who wants to spare the money to pay for you so I can buy something for myself." Rule number one, if you do not have enough money to pay for the date, find something cheaper for you two to do, or don't go on a damn date until your funds are better. Rule number two: if you are not paying for her because you are saving the money for yourself, you are an extremely selfish person, and you need to get your life together. Selflessness is the way to be, especially in a relationship.

RULES OF A GENTLEMAN

One guy I dated for a very brief time, begged to be my boyfriend. I had my reservations, but he broke me down, I felt bad for the guy, so I just said yes. As soon as I became his girlfriend, things changed. He went from wining and dining me, to "Hey, can you pay for your drinks?" Excuse me? I was paying for my gas to get to the city, then the subway, then the train, and he asked me to pay for drinks. I couldn't believe the audacity. I let it slide the first time, but then it became an on going thing. We went to dinner once, I wasn't hungry, so I just got a soda, and he got a huge meal, and then asked me to split the bill. How could we spilt the bill if you ordered way more than I did? I let it slide and told him all I had was my card, and he huffed and puffed and paid the tab because he had cash and there was a $10 minimum on card. He only paid cause he had to. Not cause he wanted to, or that it was the right thing to do.

Then, one night we went to dinner at my favorite Thai restaurant. When the bill came, he asked me to split the bill. I told him that it's weird that he makes me split the bill. I pay for bagels in the morning, grab us coffee, and small things that I know he will like. I am by no means inconsiderate or expecting him to pay for everything, but the bigger things I feel he should take control over, it should be his domain. He then told me that all of his friends and their girlfriend have joint accounts, and they use the credit card to pay for it, and when the bill comes from the bank, they split it. Mind you, the people he is referring to have been together for upwards of three years, we'd been together about a month if that much.

This is supposed to be the "honeymoon" phase of our relationship. For the first year everything should be fun and exciting and different because we are getting to know each other. It shouldn't be this lazy kind of romance. I don't even think you could call it romance. It was like as soon as he made me his girlfriend, he felt he had to stop trying. Both people in the relationship need to work and try hard everyday, try hard in the sense that you shouldn't get comfortable and no longer care about the little things. I know girls who have, in the beginning of their relationships, been sent flowers every single week. Then, shortly after the six month mark it fizzles out. Why stop showing that you care? If you can't continue to send flowers every week, do something simple like make dinner. There's so many ways to show you care, and making a girl pay for her own dinner is one of the ways that you show you could give a shit less. As corny and cliche as it sounds, the married couples or long term relationship couples I know still have those moments. Yes, arguing is inevitable. No one gets along 24/7, 365 days a year. The point I'm trying to reach here is you have to always have that sparkle. Always have that consideration for the other person your with. If you hear them say they like a chapstick you have, surprise them with it, it's the little things people remember. My favorite thing is getting a morning message that says "Good morning beautiful, have a great day". It's those kind of considerations that people love.

Small things mean so much, and we remember them.

Making a girl pay her own way is NOT considerate. My father has yet to ever make my mother pay for her own meals or anything she wants. She gets him gifts and things of that nature, but he takes good care of her. That's the way it should be. Both parties should be considerate of the other. Now, I am fully well aware that there are some women who wish to pay, and that is perfectly fine, but a man shouldn't be requesting it. It really looks pathetic. Needless to say, shortly after he asked me to pay for my own dinner, I broke it off. It was such bad manners, and quite frankly, tacky. I have a feeling his mother would be embarrassed, and if she's not, she should be.

Scott Disick carrying Kourtney Kardashian over cobblestones in NYC. TAKE NOTES!

I'm sure some people are thinking, "WOW! You're spoiled!" or "You're so selfish" but, that's by no means the case. I am big on manners and a man being a gentleman and being chivalrous. There's no excuses for bad manners and having no respect. The days of the gentleman were never over, they were always here, people just slacked off in the raising of their children, and in some cases they didn't slack off and the men are making the right moves. Either way, by no means should a man ever request a woman pay, even if she wants to pay, there should be no request or demand that she pay. Men, you need to get your manners in line, I am tired of hearing the same old sob story "I have no faith in women", call the WAHMBULANCE! I should have no faith in men, but I NEVER punish any one for anyone elses mistakes they made. Men and women should be treated as a case by case basis, not as a whole group. So what someone broke your heart, that doesn't mean the next one will. You have to cross a lot of stepping stones before you can finally settle with the right one. So, take care of the person you're with, and be chivalrous, be kind, be respectful, and most important... HAVE MANNERS!

Ask, Believe, Receive,
Julie Catherine

Heartbreak.. or Something Like It.

I initially started this blog with my direction to be on the fashion and make up side, and it has been in some aspects. Unfortunately, my best writing comes from what I feel, not what I think. I love fashion, I actually did serious damage at the mall today, but the reason I did was because I got my heart broken. Broken like it used to get in high school before I taught myself not to care. I cared. I cared and it got the best of me. On the bright side, I got to drink a mimosa in Michael Kors and bought the shoes I've been dying for, I got red lipstick from MAC, I bought a fantastic bracelet from Bloomingdale's called Alex and Ani, and got lots of goodies from Forever 21.

In order for me to go on this crazy shopping spree, I had to have my heart stomped all over. The one guy I have truly liked, and felt a connection with, burst it into pieces. Trust me I will be perfectly fine, but that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt right now. He has been giving me the run around, and when he asked me to hang out with him and his friends, I did. I had a wonderful night, and stayed with him till morning. I went home floating on cloud nine, in hopes things were changing for the best. It was too good to be true.

Shortly after the amazing time I had, he tried to turn me into a booty call. Mind you, he had been telling me I wasn't. This time was different. When I told him a gentleman doesn't speak that way to a woman, he claimed he was a gentleman. Then, he proceeded to try to get me to be a booty call. I told him I am not one and that I was disappointed in him. I waited a beat and told him that if I'm just a booty call I would have liked it if he would be straightforward about it from the beginning instead of letting me feel a certain way. He has said nothing to me. Not one single word. My heart is broken. Not for long. But, right now it stings a little bit.

I just wish he had be honest and not acted like he wanted to be my boyfriend or anything more than that. He should have kept it simple, and let me know where I stood. Now I had to find out the hard way where I stood. It bothers me that he couldn't say something, that he didn't have it in him to be honest. It hurts me more that he acted like my boyfriend. If you saw us in public, you wouldn't even think twice, you would assume we were boyfriend/girlfriend. I guess that's what through me off, he seemed genuine. He seemed real and honest, and he wasn't. He tripped me up completely. I am upset that I got myself so wrapped up in a daydream, and didn't catch it before it happened. Maybe, I wasn't daydreaming, and he is just not a stable person. Stable enough, or respectful enough to truly do right by someone else. I don't think this has anything to do with what I did or didn't do. I think it has everything to do with him and his issues. He told me he has no faith in women, and that's all fine and dandy, but that doesn't mean you should count every woman out. I feel like I was counted out.

I know it'll heal on it's own, bit by bit. I will move forward with my life, but I can't help how I feel right now, in this moment. It feels pretty low. A very unwanted feeling has flooded over me. A good man will come my way when the time is right in my life. This point in time is not right for me I suppose. I just need to get a good nights sleep, and start fresh tomorrow. Every second is a chance to change your life, so change it for the better.

Ask, Believe, Receive,


Julie Catherine.

I Love Me More

The other day, a good friend of mine sent me an email with an attachment that was titled, Why You're Single by Amanda Crute. It was a short and to the point article that really put things in perspective for me. After I was dropped by whats-his-face, I began to wonder what I did wrong. Did I talk too much? Did I do too much too soon? Did I not do enough? Did I ask for more than he could give? What made things change? What made things go from wonderful to sour so quickly? That's when I read this article.

Why You’re Single

OCT. 17, 2012 

By AMANDA CRUTE

You’re single because you’re single. It’s not because you texted too much or too little or waited 33 minutes to respond because he took 23. It’s not because you met up with your ex that night at 5 a.m. that no one knows about, or because you kissed another boy after a date with a loser.You’re not single because you spit food on that date or tripped coming out the the movie theatre. You’re not single because you hurt your first boyfriend really badly when you were 15 or because you have yet, to this day, to apologize. It’s not because you were secretly jealous when your friend got a boyfriend or that a guy you dated for two months now has a really cute girlfriend and looks really happy. And you’re happy for him. But still ill that he found someone before you.

You’re not single because you slept with your ex boyfriend. You’re not single because half the world found out when you didn’t even want to remember it yourself. You’re not single because you think the guy your friend wants to hook you up with is ugly or not tall enough. It’s not because you’re not willing to put up with someone who doesn’t brush their teeth on a regular basis.

You’re not single because your standards are too high. Good for you for having standards. It’s not because you didn’t like that really, really good guy who wanted to take you on a date and you just weren’t feeling it. And it’s not because you like to wear pajama pants as soon as you get home and wash all the makeup off your face. You’re not single because you didn’t learn enough from the past or would rather chill on a Friday night with your blanket and a cold beer than shower, get ready, and go out. You’re not single because something is wrong with you.

You are single because you are single. It’s really as simple as that. You haven’t made the connection with another heart yet. You can get dolled up, dress cute, cut your hair, dye your hair, tweeze your eyebrows, put on lipstick and you may still. be. single. You can go out to a bar hoping to meet the love of your life and not find a damn one in the place attractive. And it’s going to remain that way until it’s time for you to find one. Stop hoping for it. Start living the life that you do have instead of wishing for things that you don’t have. There will come a time you’ll meet a boy and you’ll have to give up some of this single freedom you currently have. Start being more thankful. Start doing that now.

I'm single because I am single, and at this point in my life that is the path that I'm on. It wasn't anything I did or didn't do. I was thinking maybe I was serving some karma sentence, but that if that's the case I should be serving a lot of love karma sentences. I'm a multiple offender of "doing stupid shit in relationships" like staying too long, or lying about not feeling well just so I can get some peace and quiet. It's nothing like that. It's not love karma, it's just not my time right now.

I haven't made the strong connection with someone else yet, and that's fine. In reality, I shouldn't be with anyone now. I just ended a five year relationship and haven't been alone since I was thirteen, and by alone I mean really alone. Not dating a single person. This is a time in my life where I should relish being single. One day I will have a husband and children to look after, and most likely won't be able to do anything for myself as often as I can now. This should be my time to focus on who I am and where I'm going. I should enjoy the simple things. I go to the gym right after work every day, and if I had a boyfriend I doubt that would happen as often. I'm in the gym six to seven days a week for an hour and a half to two hours. Then, when I'm done, I go home, shower, eat dinner, make lunch for the next day, and watch Sex and the City before bed. I like my single life right now, and need to appreciate it more.

Yes, I will admit, it would be nice to have someone to be with, especially on the weekends, but I love filling my weekends with mani/pedis, food shopping, laundry, working out, and crashing my mom and dads' date night. I love a good free meal! It's just not my time yet. I would rather wait than settle any day. A woman I know is married with two children. She loves her family and her husband, but she told me not to settle. She told me that things that she let slide before she got married are now beginning to wear thin on her. I know she would never leave her husband, but I understand what she means. Don't push things aside just for the sake of being with someone. I'm not running down the isle anytime soon, even if everyone I know is married or getting married. I would rather wait for that one person who connects with me above anyone else. This is the person you will spend the rest of your life with.. make it count! Don't just marry to say you did it. Marry because it is the right person and the right time. This is going to be your life partner and the parent to your children. Wouldn't you want that person to be the best possible person for you? YES!

I am single because it's not my time yet. When it is, it's going to be exactly what I've been waiting for. I haven't connected with anyone the way I am supposed to and that's all that means. Or maybe I have, and there's just things we both need to do before we get put together. Whatever it is, it will happen at the exact right moment. I sounds like a corny cliche quote generator, but I speak the truth. Right now, it is time for me to find myself and find where I belong in my career and my life. I need to shape myself and love myself before I can even consider loving someone else.

What I took from all of this, and what took me way too long to figure out, was that it's okay to just be by myself. It's not my time yet, and there's a reason it hasn't worked with anyone because the right one is moving closer towards me. I can't settle because waiting for whoever he is will be that much better. I can't worry about when or where, I just need to have faith that my time is coming, and when it does it will be exactly what I want and need. All in good time.

Ask, Believe, Receive,
Julie Catherine

My Fashion Inspiration.. or Something Like it.

I have a passion for fashion, but a bank account that doesn't quite see it that way. I check designer websites every single day.. Christian Louboutin, Louis Vuitton, Gucci, Prada, Celine, and much more. I get emails for when any new collection comes out. I feed myself off of the new collections that I can't afford, but I fantasize that one day I will be able to actually purchase these things with no sweat off my back.

Don't get me wrong, I have designer bags and shoes, but someday I wish I could shop at Short Hills mall and just throw it in the bag. I am not a materialistic person by any means, but I do love some good fashion. I have a lot of things that inspire me and I keep up on what is the newest in season, even if it's out of my reach, it is still good to stay current. I like daydreaming about the possibilities of what one day could be mine if I work hard enough for it. I just want to share with you what my fave things are...

THESE ARE A FEW OF MY FAVORITE THINGS:

Lilly Ghalichi: This outfit is everything. Simple yet so  gorgeous.

Lilly Ghalichi: I love neutrals and nudes and I wouldn't mind having some Louis Vuitton luggage to go on vacation with  ;)

Louis Vuitton Alma bag. I want this so bad in either this color or gold!

Love Kim Kardashian. That Hermes Birkin is to die. I love the first vest and the cuffed ripped jeans. I wouldn't mind raiding her closet.

This is the next pair of Christian Louboutins I want. Either nude or black, I can't decide which I'm more partial to.

Electric Blue Louboutins with a matching Louie Alma bag. In heaven!

Perfect casual day outfit. It's simple yet chic.

Chanel Sequin Hot Pants.. Enough said!

Versace Wedges.. I love pastels as much as neutrals!

Since I can't afford everything I want just yet, I daydream that someday these beautiful things will be hanging in my closet, but for now I just visit the websites and buy Vogue. I still manage to somehow be well dressed even if it's not designer clothing. I learned my lesson the hard way that if you want only a few days, Arden B. puts their clothes on clearance and you can pay $15 dollars for a once $60 shirt. I also live for Forever 21, but really, who doesn't. I also find that Charlotte Russe is great for shoes, and I buy lots of them. I don't mind shopping the Kardashian Kollection at Sears either. I found an amazing sweater from them that I could easily live in. So, moral of my story is I can still be inspired by gorgeous fashion, even if I can't yet afford it.

PLACES TO SHOP:
intermixx.com
ardenb.com
charlotterusse.com
forever21.com
sears.com/kardashiankollection
louisvuitton.com
saksfifthave.com
net-a-porter.com
zappos.com
christianlouboutin.com
gucci.com
vogue.com

Love and Lust in Jersey

The other day a friend of mine told me a very interesting story. So interesting it inspired this post. He told a story about his college girlfriend. One day, when they were first dating, he was laying on the top bunk bed in her dorm, and she was laying on the bottom. They were watching a movie when he fell asleep, and when he woke up she was on the bottom bunk having sex with someone else! He layed there quietly and pretended to be sleeping. He wound up dating her through out college. A girl who had sex in the room with another man while he was "sleeping", and he didn't see the red flags then, instead he fell for her.

 

Flash forward years later, this guy is still stuck on her, and now she is married with two babies. He invites her to a party for a college reunion type thing, and she arrives with her husband. He decides he is going to insult the husband by telling him that this woman should be with him, therefore resulting in him getting punched in the face and threatened to stay away. Now this woman tells him that she cannot speak to him anymore because he has created a conflict. For whatever reason, he still wants this woman. It took two weeks before she decided to message him and say "Hey :)" through a text message. I told him not to respond to her because all she wants is the attention, and she has no intention of doing anything more than causing trouble, but he still has hope. Then the kick in the pants comes, he tells me this woman has an STD that she contracted in college, and he still wants her. I am loss for words on this one.This guy is young, attractive, smart, funny, stable, and has a great job, so why the french toast does he want to be with this woman who is clearly so beneath him. He could easily do so much better. I think it's safe to say, subconsciously, we all want what we can't have.

My second story comes from a good friend of mine, shes a doll, super hot bod, funny, smart, the kind of girl any man should be proud to marry. She's the kind of girl men look for, but never find because they're too busy chasing easy women. She wound up meeting this guy when she got out of college who began talking about marriage and children within a nine month period. She fell hard for him, and began her domestic reign. I would do the exact same thing so I can't blame her. Just when she thought things were smooth sailing, she messaged him one day asking what he would like for dinner, his response wasn't for food. He told her he couldn't break up with her on the phone or in person because it would be too hard, so he settled to break her heart through a text. She hasn't spoke to him since, but she still keeps hope that he will come back, and just when she thinks she has him out of her mind, he pops back up.

Shes now dating this new guy, and he is interested in her, but late and night, the guy who broke her heart keeps her hopeful. But, for what? He clearly is an immature jerk who isn't ready for anything he had promised. His mouth wrote checks his ass couldn't cash. He led her on a path of destruction. Just like me. When this one particular person began his war path in my life, I couldn't help but fall hard and fast, and who could really blame me? I'm a woman. This is what we do. If a man brings up the marriage word, we immediately fall hard. We put the mans last name with our first name, and because were adults we truly consider it as opposed to in high school when we did it for fun. We no longer date for fun, we date for our future. Every man or woman that comes into our life we picture them in our future. So what do we do when they abruptly exit without any real reason or warning? We continue to hold some sort of hope that they will sweep us off our feet, and make good on everything they once told us.

In my two friends cases and mine, we are stuck on someone who isn't stuck on us. They've made it clear, and they think they made a clean break, but we're still stuck. We date other people, but every time the phone rings, or we get a text, we hope its them. But, what if they really did call? Well, we really should ignore them. They can't have a relationship of convenience with us, it's unfair, and just plain cruel. In reality, what we do is call all our friends for advice as to what we should say. Some will say to curse them out, some will say to ignore them, and some will say to tell them you want to talk to them again, but really it comes down to what you feel is best for you.

I believe that we stick to these people because we can't have them, and for one point in time in our lives they gave us real happiness. It's like a drug addict who chases that first high, that's what we do, we chase that first high when they first kissed us, or when we first met. We live in a dream like state that everything will work out exactly the way we want it to, and I'm sure in some way it will, but it may not be the way we though it would. When we are forced to put something down in life, it's because we're supposed to pick up something better, we just can't see that yet because we're stuck in a fog of what if's and maybe's. So really, is this lust, or is this love? Is this an infatuation with someone we really don't know that well? What if reality hits and we were to marry these people, would they really be the ones we want for the rest of our lives? What if they turn out to be total duds? They could turn out to be wonderful, but if they were wouldn't we be with them already? They would be with us, but if they aren't there's a real reason for it. Maybe they're not ready for us and we're not ready for them, or maybe we're not meant to be together ever again. Who knows, but what it comes down to is how do we banish them from our minds so we can move on and be happy? If we're supposed to be with them it will happen, just not right now, but we need to live a happy life with out them for now.

Only time can tell if we are to be with them, or someone else. Maybe, just maybe, their only purpose was to help usher in a new era in our lives. Maybe they were solely to give us that moment of happiness to put us back on track. Whatever purpose they served, we have to accept that it's over, if not just for now, maybe forever. We can't see what the future holds, and we should be excited about that because we could wind up with someone so amazing and wonderful that would show us why it didn't work with anyone else. There's always a purpose, we just sometimes can't see it yet. We need to see the glass half full as opposed to half empty. Something wonderful is on its way to us.

Ask, Believe, Receive,
 Julie Catherine

One Week in the New Year and...

Happy New Year, again, to all my readers. I was only going to wait a week to blog, but my life got in the way so I'm a few days late. My life has consisted of work, gym, work, gym, work, gym, and sleep. I am eternally exhausted. More tired than I have ever been. Now I know I'm singing the same tune as half of the world, but I'm now understanding why my father comes home after work and takes naps before dinner and after dinner and then goes to sleep.

My lack of energy has actually been wonderful, because for once I can actually sleep through the night without waking up every frickin hour. Any way, pushing aside the boring shiz, I am frustrated as all hell with my love life and my gym life. So where to start...

I need to understand that one week of diet and exercise isn't going to make my hit my goal. It's a process and every day I get closer to my goal. I just sometimes see the glass half empty over half full. I have a very curvy figure and that will never change. I always was a coca cola shape even when I was 100 pounds and looked ill. I have hips for days. I have to respect my shape, but I also know how small I could really be. Not that I'm big, but I know my potential. I have a goal set for May. I want to be at least half way to my goal. I don't care about what numbers say. I want to look amazing when I look in the mirror. I was told skinny girls look good in clothes and fit girls look good naked. I want to look amazing with or with out clothes. I want to be able to rock the shit out of anything. I know it will take time. I just need to understand that it doesn't happen over night and I need to just keep working at it every single day. I need to remember that its not going to be instant gratification. I will have to accept that hard work and dedication to get something still takes time.

I also need to get this one jerk off out from under my skin. He clearly is not into me, and for whatever reason I find myself fantasizing about him. Its only a fantasy and I may be disappointed with the reality. We only dated for a month and he turned out to be a total bullshitter and people pleaser. I think he has good intentions, but he messed up badly by even mentioning the word marriage. Women want that, and when a man mentions it, were sold. He truly seemed like a winner. Then, he fell off the face of the earth, only talking to me here and there. I finally said I'm done, but I still think of him. I need to shake him somehow, he clearly does not think about me. I know with time he will disappear, but it's just a pain right now. Especially because my friend, Ashley, is trying to hook me up with someone. He seems like a winner, but I can't get the loser out of my mind. I'm thinking when I meet this man, it will switch my gears. I never like to be set up, and I never like to give my number out, but I decided to take a leap of faith on this one because I trust Ashley. She knows what I've been through, and I know she wouldn't bother setting me up with anyone unless they're absolutely amazing.

I need to realize that things take time, and everything happens for a reason. All in all, I need to chill the hell out and get it together. I need to let go of the things and people that don't serve their purpose in my life anymore. Since this is a New Year I will wash my hands of things that no longer help me, grow me, or love me in my life. If they provide nothing useful, they are to be removed. I will just focus on getting fit and being fabulous. I want to meet someone special of course, but all in good time. Everything happens in its own time, and I need to stop forcing it and just let it. Have faith and just breathe and believe that everything that I deserve is on it's way to me.


Ask, Believe, Receive,
Julie Catherine

Good-bye 2012, Hello 2013

I think it's safe to say I had a hell of a year. Things progressively got better and better for me, even when I didn't see the silver lining. I had a sick summer and met some wonderful people along the way. In the ups and downs, I feel like I'm one step closer to finding where I belong.

2012 started out liberating. I picked myself up and moved forward in my life, even if it wasn't immediate progress, it did happen slowly but surely, and this year proved to me that I am a lot stronger and a lot more deserving of the things I want for myself in my life.

Summer came around, and even though I took three summer classes to lighten my load for Fall, I still had as much fun as possible. I saw Drake with my friend, Sabina, and it was epic. We had an amazing time. Then, I spent most of my summer at the beach house with Nicole, Manny, Danny, Rob, and Emma. A few stragglers came in and out, but it was an amazing summer. Every Saturday I got off of work, I would grab my packed bag and head down the shore to Point Pleasant and stay till Sunday. We always had a great time. Then Fall came, and I got wrapped up in school and work. I had a great birthday, small, but I like being around close friends. Then I met someone, who for a moment in my life did make me very happy. He wound up flaking out, and I wondered for a short time what went wrong, and what could have made things switch. Then I realized, I was myself the whole time, and if he doesn't like who I am, then he doesn't have to. I can't be upset over things not panning out with a person if I was just being myself. Now if I had acted like I was someone I wasn't, then I'd be pissed because they didn't like who I was pretending to be, not who I am. But, like I said, I was 100% myself, and that's the best I can do. Moving right along...

I had a wonderful holiday season. I got myself a pair of Louboutins for graduating. I graduated college. I began working full time, and I got to ring in the New Year with my two favorite creatures ever, my sister and my puppy. There's no one else I'd rather spend my New Year with.

So today being New Years day, I opened a Pinterest account and made a vision board for what I would like to see in my life this year. It goes as follows.

1. Get my body in even better, more kick ass shape, than it already is.
2. Buy myself a Louie Speedy size 40 in monogram.
3. Start my career, somehow find my place in that career, and run with it.
4. Make a shit ton of money.
5. Buy a new car, a C300 Benz seems reasonable to me.
6. Buy a pair of 160mm Black patent Louboutins, even though they're always on back order -_-
7. Go on a gorgeous vacation to somewhere tropical. Ibiza keeps flashing in my mind.
8. Become an even more fabulous version of myself.
9. Write more.
10. Find a man who loves me for me, and who will treat me the way I know I deserve to be treated, and I him.

These goals may seem shallow, and vapid, but I don't really care because these are the things I want to see this year manifest in my life. I want success and happiness. I want some fancy things that I would earn from my success. I want to find someone who really loves me for me, and doesn't come with a shit ton of baggage and treats me like a queen. I know I would do a good job, I just need to find someone who isn't a total jerk off. With that being said, I want to focus majority of my time on bettering myself. Like I said, I want to become a more fabulous version of myself. I'm already pretty awesome, but there's always room for improvement.

2012 HIGHLIGHTS

Raquels 23rd Birthday.

Brunching at Park East with Nicole and Raquel.

Me and Big Ang from Mob Wives at Park East.

Opening Day at Surf Club. Nicole, Me, Angela, and Joann.

46 Lounge in June with Sead and Nicole.

Fourth of July fireworks at Point Pleasant.

Me and Nicole in August before going out. I love this picture.

My 23rd Birthday in the City. Me, Nicole, and Jazlana.

My first Giants game in November. 

Me and my baby sister at the Tree in NYC.

Drake on stage in June.

James, me, and Danny at Avenue brunch in June.

Me and Carla from Mob Wives outside of Avenue.

Ask, Believe, Receive,

Julie Catherine.