For years, I thought my life would be just like my mothers, and that I would be married at 23. I am now 24, and I don't have a boyfriend, or any prospects for that matter. I always thought that would bother me, but I still feel so young, and that I have so much more to accomplish before that happens. A few girls I know are already married, and have been married since 22 or 23 years old. I personally think they settled for this life. They still live in my town, in their crappy homes, with their dinky wedding rings. I feel like I can't settle for that same life style.
One thing my mother always told me was that if a man cannot afford to by you a nice ring of at least three carats, you're not ready to be married. You can't afford a wedding, or a house, or babies. My parents impress upon me the importance of building my life, building my brand, so that when I do get married I can pay for my wedding, and I can have my honeymoon, and I can have my house, and I can start my family. So many people just rush into it, and that's just not my goal. I want to establish myself first before I begin to worry about being with someone else.
It hurt me for a while that everyone around me was getting married, and having babies, and now I realize that I cannot compare their lives to my own. We are on two different paths, were not in the same bracket at all. The reason I chose not to become a teacher, after completing everything I was supposed to, was because something told me I could do more. There was something else out there. I feel that about every aspect of my life. Something bigger is waiting for me. Things I cannot even imagine are just waiting for me to find them.
Don't get me wrong, I want to be married, and have babies, and grow my family, but that will all happen on it's own. My mother told me that when the time is right, the right man will present himself to me. It's not something I think anyone should be rushing. I know a lot of girls who just run into marriage, and I hear that they have gotten divorced after just a few years. I think so many people fear being lonely, that they will marry someone, or have a baby with someone, who is totally wrong. No one is ever alone. You are surrounded by people who love you, and by claiming you're lonely is a slap in all those peoples faces. You are devaluing their presence in your life. Count your blessings.
Everyone's life takes it's own course, but there's nothing wrong with just worrying about yourself. I knew a girl who ended a relationship, and I told her to be selfish for a while and worry about herself, and she told me she's not a selfish person. I wanted to slap her. It's not about being selfish selfish, its about putting yourself first, and not acting so incredibly desperate that you just jump from relationship to relationship. People can smell the desperation on a person, and when you present that desperation, they take advantage of you, and you don't find the right person, you find the scumbags. Desperation sends off a terrible vibe, and no one likes to be around someone who is desperate.
At 24, I am not married, engaged, or in a relationship, and that is PERFECTLY OK. I know that everything happens and unfolds in its own time. Things happen the way they are meant to. Age is nothing but a number. Some people don't get married till they're thirty, I hope that isn't the case for me personally, but it happens. Thirty is the new twenty in my eyes. So just enjoy your time worrying about yourself. Do what you need to do to take care of yourself before you worry about anyone else!
- Julie Catherine.
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